


The Road to Neverland

by SilverEclipse



Series: Idle Radio [2]
Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Radio, College, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 36,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverEclipse/pseuds/SilverEclipse
Summary: Soyeon was an ordinary third year music student trying to pass her classes. DJ Jelly was a radio DJ who gave advice, made music and ran a radio station. The former was her identity, the latter was her job. It was a simple distinguishing point, and anyone who knew her personally would never mistake the two.She had been running Idle Radio for almost 2 years. There were callers every broadcast, asking for advice, comments and snarky opinions on their life problems. There was even a disclaimer on the website. It was clear that the show was for entertainment purposes.The only question was, why couldn't this irritating caller understand that?
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Minnie Nicha Yontararak, Jeon Soyeon/Song Yuqi, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Series: Idle Radio [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781677
Comments: 16
Kudos: 174





	1. I Am (Jeon Soyeon)

Of course Soyeon would notice the dumbass who kept barging into her Wednesday lecture.

The class size wasn’t big to begin with. As her second year Music Theory professor liked to say, the only thing rarer than a music student is a music student majoring in Music Theory and Composition. 

Most of her cohort mates were performance majors or taking classical music studies. That meant that almost all her classes were made up of largely familiar faces. After three years of college, it would be difficult for her to not notice a new face. Especially when said newcomer seemed insistent on regularly disrupting lectures with her presence. 

The first time, she hadn’t really been paying attention. It was an 8am lecture and even though she was now a third year, morning classes never really got easier. 

She only noticed the girl’s presence when she took a seat beside her. The heaviness of the bag caused it to hit the ground with a thunk, and it distracted her from the steady beat playing in her ears. Soyeon frowned at the interruption. 

She always sat in the same place in the lecture hall; towards the back, and to the side. It was good for her to exit the hall when the lecture was over, and it also allowed her to multi task during lectures.

She didn’t have many friends in this class, or in school in general, but that didn’t really bother her much. She had been home schooled for a number of years and she was generally shy around other people. Considering all the factors, she was lucky to have found a number of close friends who accepted her for who she was.

If she wasn’t writing, she was producing, or at the radio station doing either. She barely had time to study, much less the time to maintain more shallow friendships than necessary. 

She wasn’t what one would call “a social butterfly”; far from it, actually. Working with people was not an issue for her, but she didn’t think it was very necessary to go out of her way to socialise and be popular. Plus, the advantage of bidding for classes alone meant that she didn’t have to save seats for anyone or align her course map with another person. 

Miyeon had once told her that when they first met, she found her very intimidating. However, after they grew closer, she realised how wrong she had been. Soyeon hadn’t taken any offense to her comment because she had to admit there was truth behind it. It was difficult to be taken seriously in the creative industry. With the amount of competition in her cohort alone, she couldn’t afford to have people think of her as a pushover. While a lot of people either underestimated her or called her strange for spending her time writing instead of mingling with the rest of the cohort, she didn’t have the time to pay them any attention. 

Most of the time, even in lectures, her mind would be running all over the place, rummaging through possible ways to rearrange contemporary songs and come up with lyrics to fit her own song concepts. Some might call her dedicated, some would say she was obsessive. Yet, it was just what Soyeon had to do as a full time radio host, full time student and full time aspiring musician. Hence, she hardly made small talk with other students during class unless she had good reason to. 

Thus, she couldn’t understand how a complete stranger would willingly choose the seat next to her, despite the many available seats in the room. She had never seen her face in any of her classes. If she had, she would have definitely remembered her. Soyeon was sure of that. 

She gave the other student a quick once over. She had long, dark hair that curled over her shoulders. Her skin was rather fair and altogether, her youthful features gave her a rather sweet and innocent image. Yet, she also had a form of nervous energy that Soyeon felt was out of place. She looked at her, almost bouncing in her seat as she pulled out her laptop and set it on her table. It was then that she noticed the 2020 freshman orientation logo on the back of the screen. She sighed. 

Well, that explained a lot. 

Out of paranoia, she scanned the lecture hall for familiar faces, lest she be the one who came to the wrong classroom. The hall was big and students were widely dispersed, which made looking for specific people challenging in the morning. Her class list had a healthy mix of fourth and third years, so she expected not to recognize a good number of students anyway. She told herself to wait for five more minutes before panicking.

After a few minutes, the door clicked shut quietly and there were a few murmurs from the other side of the hall. Kim Chungha was walking up the steps. Soyeon immediately felt the tension dissipate. She wasn’t just a familiar face. They’d worked together a couple of times, both as classmates as well as professionally. She was one of the most multitalented students in the cohort but she was also one of the most down to earth people she’d ever met. 

The older girl happened to meet her eyes and her face lit up in recognition. She sent her a friendly smile and wave before she sat down with the rest of her friends. She recognised a few juniors like Yoojung and Doyeon, who had declared majors in song writing, so she was assured that she was in the correct class. Soyeon turned to the unfamiliar girl again. 

She definitely wasn’t someone who would willingly start a conversation with a random stranger. However, she also felt sorry for the new girl. University students usually wouldn’t go out of their way to help a stranger if they weren’t getting something out of it. 

She battled with her dilemma for a few minutes until the professor walked in. She exhaled in relief. 

“Okay class, a few things before we get started.” There was a rustle and Soyeon glanced to her side. The girl was taking out her notebook. The first thing that Soyeon noticed was the pastel pink cover and the stickers. She couldn’t help but stare at it in disbelief. 

Was this girl actually planning to take notes? 

It was the first class of the semester. Students could still change their courses and it was still bidding period. Moreover, every student knew that the real lecture only started after the introduction to the course, which lasted about 20 to 30 minutes. 

Soyeon almost scoffed. Whoever she was, this girl was definitely a freshman. However, just in case, she powered up her own laptop. This professor had a tendency to pinpoint random people in class so she couldn’t be too complacent.

“Firstly, I don’t tolerate tardiness. Punctuality is key. This applies to both submissions and lectures. Time waits for no man, or woman, and neither will I, which is something I’m sure you all would have understood by now.” Soyeon leaned back in her seat, hands in her pockets. Professors always gave similar “warnings” at the start of every course. It wasn’t new, nor was it actually that serious. Considering that it was not uncommon for professors to forget about their own lectures or arrive late, these “warnings” were usually only intimidating to exchange students, or freshmen.

She peeked at the girl again. She was really scribbling in her notebook. Soyeon shook her head. 

“Secondly, please don’t bring food into the class. If you need to eat, do it before or after your lesson.” She smirked at that. Almost every third and fourth year student had mastered the art of eating without getting caught by now. 

“Now, if you can assess the presentation slides, I’ll now be explaining the assessment criteria and graded projects due in the first half of the course, as well as your final examination which will go towards your grade at the end of the semester.” There were a couple of groans from around her. Soyeon simply shrugged. The intensive course outline was one reason why there were a number of students who delayed taking this course until their final year. For Soyeon, she was planning to do her internship a semester early. So, completing this course would be put her at an advantage over anyone else who applied. 

There was a shuffle and she felt an uncertain tap on her shoulder. 

Ah, there it was.

“Uh, excuse me... this isn’t ‘Introduction to Linguistics’, is it?” Soyeon shook her head. It was difficult to keep a straight face as she watched the panic set in. The girl’s eyes widened comically as she swept everything on her table, notebook, pencil case, laptop and all, into her bag. As she stood hurriedly, the chair screeched in protest, alerting nearly the entire class to her predicament. Soyeon grimaced as the freshman raced down the stairs, bowing in apology as she left the classroom in embarrassment. 

So, the lost freshman was a language major. It was a pity that she would probably never encounter her again. Soyeon had already completed all her university core modules so she hardly had classes with the lower years, not that she minded. The younger students were more overzealous and they didn't know how to proportion their time and energy efficiently. Hence, seniors preferred to work with other seniors. 

The professor treated the entire debacle as if it had never happened. He was probably used to it happening by now. 

“Okay, now that we’re all settled, welcome to ‘Contemporary Writing and Production’.” Soyeon finally sat up and opened a word document. She hoped that the girl, whoever she was, managed to make it to her class without missing anything too important. 

Then again, it was the first lesson of the school term. It was probably not very important anyway. The professors always followed the slides and the information was spoon fed to the juniors during the first few months. The freshie should be fine if she didn’t make her tardiness a habit. 

She was pretty cute though. 

~~~

The second time it happened, she almost couldn’t believe it. 

It was the third week of school. Surely, the freshman would have learned where her class was by now. Yet, the door opened in the middle of her lecture, revealing a familiar cherub face with a confused expression as she glanced around the room. The girl’s lips were spread in a brilliant smile which faded as she sensed that something was amiss. She glanced down at her phone and scrolled frantically. 

She was wearing a white cardigan over blue shorts and she had tied her hair into pig tails. Her bulky bag had since been changed to a more practical sling bag, which looked good on her, Soyeon had to admit. 

She looked at the clock. The nature of the timing suggested that the girl was probably supposed to have a tutorial. She was a Language major, so her core tutorials would be in the building across campus. 

The professor glared at her unexpected entrance and she meekly excused herself with an apologetic bow.

Soyeon smiled again and shook her head. 

Freshmen, really.

~~~

The third time the freshman barged into the class, Soyeon actually rolled her eyes. She had to be doing this on purpose.

The girl really was cute. It was just a shame that she was so scatter-brained. 

She had been in the midst of planning a mix-up of songs for her next special broadcast. She, or rather, DJ Jelly, along with a couple of other seniors, were tasked to do a collaboration single together as a project to promote the radio station. The actual recording wasn’t due to take place until a month later, but she wanted to have something to show her guests during their first meeting. 

She needed something exciting. The first draft of the lyrics that were submitted to her gave her a superhero vibe. She liked it. The concept was about ordinary people taking control of their lives and showing the world how powerful they really were. The girls that the producers had in mind were all powerful vocalists and performers. She really was the maknae, in more ways than one. All the more, she needed something to prove her worth.

It was the squeak of converse shoes that drew her attention away from the lecture. The girl was speaking into her phone, a bit too loudly for someone who wasn’t supposed to be there. Everyone turned to her. Soyeon was sure that most of the students were aware of her existence by now. A couple of them might even be taking bets. 

“So then, that thing- oh... wow.” She looked up and stopped in her tracks. The expression of disbelief on her face caused Soyeon to snicker under her breath. 

The professor sighed noticeably as a couple of students turned to the unwelcome visitor. She couldn’t help the flicker of amusement she got, watching the other girl get flustered by her repeated error. 

“I-I’m sorry, professor, please excuse me.” She pivoted and sped out the door as fast as she had come in. 

Soyeon turned back to her working draft and changed the title.

‘Wow Thing’. That might actually work. 

~~~

The fourth time it happened, Soyeon couldn’t even find it within herself to be surprised anymore. 

The girl had walked into room during a presentation, realised her surroundings, sighed loudly, and exited the room without uttering a coherent sentence. She was carrying a cup of iced coffee this time, which ironically hadn’t helped her case. 

It was entertaining enough for her to smile and it took her mind off of the presentation. She even penned it down as part of her lyrics due to how ridiculous the situation was. 

For some reason, she hoped the girl would be forgetful enough to make the same mistake again. 

Miyeon repeatedly called her “whipped” over lunch and she vehemently denied the claim even as she pushed the free salad that came with her meal towards the older girl. The only way to shut her up was through food, after all. 

Miyeon narrowed her eyes, but she accepted the rejected bowl of vegetables. It went without saying that any vegetables would end up being discarded and both of them didn’t want to waste food if they could help it. Soyeon grinned in triumph. 

“You know you’re gonna have to eat this someday right?” 

“I eat some vegetables.” Soyeon replied confidently while she unearthed the pile of fries covered with bulgogi meat excitedly. 

“Tomatoes are fruits, and corn is a type of grain. I mean actual vegetables, like this.” The older girl cut her off quickly and waved a slice of cucumber in her direction. Soyeon jerked back exaggeratedly and made a face that conveyed her deep disgust.

“I might die, unnie.” She warned, picking up a fry and dropping it unceremoniously into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully and savoured the taste. “Then who’ll take over the radio station?” 

“We could always leave it to Jisoo and Lisa. I’m sure they’d love to give it a go until they find a replacement.” Miyeon grinned as Soyeon gasped in mock horror before bending over in laughter. 

“Unnie, no! They’d turn it into a talk show with their pets featured in every episode!” She could already see it happening. 

She loved having Chaeyoung‘s friends over in the studio, despite how much of a ruckus they usually made. She had gotten to know them after inviting Chaeyoung to collaborate with her as a guest host and the response was so great that the bubbly senior ended up joining as a regular host. Miyeon was the one who recommended Chaeyoung since they were part of the same vocal class, and Soyeon trusted her judgment. 

The seniors were really close and she had been worried about whether she would be able to talk to them. However, her concerns were put to rest when she realised they were just as friendly and playful as Chaeyoung, even if they were a few years her senior. 

Jisoo had been the first one to break the ice. Soyeon remembered her as the “unnie with the kind smile” who approached her first to thank her for inviting them and for taking care of Chaeyoung. Jennie had been more reserved in the beginning, but after a couple of meetings, she had warmed up and lowered her guard. Lisa hardly acted her age, so she often forgot that Lisa was actually a year older than her. 

Now, more than six months later, she had grown accustomed to random visits from one or more of the girls. They often came to use the facilities or study in the lounge area, not that there would be much studying happening once they arrived. It was part of the reason why Miyeon suggested that they remove the access restrictions for the door so that they wouldn’t seem so exclusive. The other reason was that the school was terrible at updating their security systems so the likelihood of one of them getting locked out was very high. 

If the girls didn’t bring up their various pets at least once a day, she would assume that they had been possessed. Chaeyoung would even bring up her beloved Joohwangie that she left behind in Australia so that she wouldn’t be left out, and Soyeon would make her feel better by reminding her that she didn’t have a pet. 

If Idle Radio was handed over to them, things would indeed be entirely different. 

“That would be kind of funny, wouldn’t it?” Miyeon snickered. “A different kind of Idle Radio, but it still fits the name since they act like kids anyway.”

“Nooo, that can’t happen!” Soyeon choked out in between giggles. The bulgogi fries were left on the table, forgotten for the time being as she tried to catch her breath. “Okay, I won’t die. I’ll just get really mad.” 

“Aww Soyeonie, so I still have time to prepare the eulogy?” The chestnut haired senior gave her a mysterious smile which garnered her suspicion. 

“Who says you’ll be the one drafting the eulogy, unnie?” 

“Of course it’s going to be me! I’m your favourite and the prettiest unnie.” She didn’t give Soyeon a chance to interject. “Besides, I think ‘I-Die’ would be a lovely title, and I want to copyright it for myself.”

Soyeon couldn’t be more affronted. She crossed her arms petulantly. 

“I won’t miss you at all when you graduate.” 

Contrary to her intention, her words only induced the senior to let out a string of giggles as she scooted her chair closer. Soyeon whined in protest but didn’t move away when Miyeon leaned against her and stroked her forearms and head placatingly, playing along even though they both knew her words held no truth. It was hard to keep a straight face around her, much less maintain her irritation or anger. 

Okay, maybe she’d miss her a little bit. 

Not that she’d ever say that to Miyeon. Her ego would shoot through the roof and she’d become even more insufferable. 

~~~ 

“Are you crazy?” 

Soyeon almost answered “Yes”, just to see what her reaction would have been. People who called just to leave rude comments were like flies who buzzed around, completely unnecessary, yet unavoidable. 

The moment the previous caller started talking about his girlfriend, she wanted to groan. She hated giving relationship advice on-air. It was too public. There was always room for one of the parties to call back for a vengeful response. 

She shook her head as she listened to the caller ramble about his new dog and girlfriend. 

Men. 

To her, the situation was dumb. If this guy really loved his girlfriend, he would have talked about the subject earlier and if the reaction was as strong as he claimed, he should have remembered it before getting a dog. He shouldn’t need someone else to tell him that. There wasn’t an excuse for him to pretend that he was the victim. 

She told him that it was his choice. However, she knew better. Humans were selfish. If he was asking someone for advice, it meant that he had already made his choice but he wanted someone to back him up or someone to pin the blame on, when things went south. 

In the many relationships that she had witnessed, at least one party would be in denial of the state they were in. People involved in anything were already less objective in their assessment because of their direct involvement. She didn’t want to get involved in the messy tangles of someone else’s relationship, unless it was to prod about and reveal sides they hadn’t considered.

Hence, when the next caller responded so angrily, her first suspicion was that she was the girlfriend of the previous caller. She was both relieved and curious when she realised she wasn’t. 

“But I pity whoever listens to your advice.” Soyeon raised her eyebrows at that reply. So, the girl was trying to be snarky as well. 

If she had wanted to be more sarcastic and start a fight, she would have answered that she too, would pity whoever followed her advice blindly. However, if the person was really that naive and weak willed such that they didn’t understand and address the implications behind her comments, then they deserved the wake up call that was coming. Yet, she wasn't going to bite the bait that was dangling in front of her. This girl was just testing her patience. 

“A friend of the girl who got injured after you advised her to do something outrageous to impress someone.” 

Soyeon sat back in her seat, trying to recall who she was referring to. She received a lot of calls as DJ Jelly, from students of all years, and she honestly couldn’t remember all of their names and issues with a snap of her fingers. The rude girl would have to do better than that. 

However, as a DJ and a host, for that matter, she couldn’t exactly leave a call hanging like that. It was unprofessional and she would likely get several complaints. To the school, approving her program had been risky enough, despite the popularity of it. It wasn’t easy to trust someone who had no experience running a radio station and hosting a radio show. Thus, she figured that improvisation would be the best way out of the situation. 

“Wait, hold on. Did I tell her to attempt something physically dangerous to her own health?” She knew herself and her own limits. Although as DJ Jelly, she was allowed to push the limits of what was considered ethical, there were some boundaries that she was required to keep. 

Obviously, she wasn’t allowed to tell people to kill themselves, or tell someone to kill another person, or advise someone to do something illegal. Yet, she also set her own personal boundaries as to how far she allowed herself to go with callers. 

Hence, she knew that she would never have advised anyone to attempt something obviously dangerous and life threatening. 

“No, but-“ A proud smirk made its way across her features. The rest was easy. 

“Then, it’s not my problem. Thank you for calling!” She pushed the button to end the call before the girl on the other end could respond. She almost let out a sigh of satisfaction right then. Dealing with pesky people always called for a song break. 

She scrolled through the playlist she had already prepared for the day and was very pleased when she found exactly the song she was looking for. She was about to refer to the girl when she remembered that she hadn’t asked for her name. Soyeon shrugged. “Outrageous Best Friend” seemed fitting enough for her.

“Guys, hopefully this serves as a reminder that the answer should never be to push the blame for your actions to other people. We’re all adults here, yeah?” 

Everglow’s new hit song. Of course. 

It perfectly encompassed her feelings for the subject. She hoped that the rude girl would take the energy fuelling her anger and blame, and put it into her brain. Maybe she would finally realise that her friend acted of her own will and it had nothing to do with her. Good riddance to that. 

Goodbye, Au Revoir, Adios. 

~~~

“Hi DJ Jelly! So, I’ve got a problem.”

Instantly, Soyeon furrowed her brows. There was something about this voice that was very familiar. It sounded unusually squeaky and pinched, but she had a feeling the caller was someone she knew. As always, she plastered on a neutral but friendly voice.

“Hello, good afternoon. You’re on Idle Radio. What’s your name?” 

“Cream Cheese.” 

“What?” Soyeon said, before she remembered that she was on-air. It wasn’t the first time she had heard someone use a nickname, but it was strange enough for her to nearly bark out a laugh that would have been too genuine for her radio personality. She recovered before anyone could notice. “I missed that. Could you please say your name again?” 

“Of course. Call me Chichu.” Of course, it was her. 

She couldn’t hold back her eye roll this time. She reminded herself that she was still on-air. She was DJ Jelly now, not Jeon Soyeon. She would happily deal with the prankster senior as herself later on. For now, she would play along.

“Hi Jisoo. How may I help you today?”

“Well, you see...” Throughout the tale, Soyeon felt she was going to see the back of her skull with the amount of times she rolled her eyes. Still, she had to be patient. The senior would definitely get an earful from her later. She’d pull out all the stops and enlist Jennie‘s help too. 

“But then she decided to stay out with a different guy this time, so my plan didn’t work.” The DJ decided to cut in right then and there, before the entire story got more convoluted and she lost track of time. Jisoo had a gift for telling stories. It was sometimes confusing, but always entertaining. Except for now, when Soyeon was extra sure that Jisoo was literally spinning this story out of nowhere. Anyone who’s spent time with her and her friends would have known that Jennie and Jisoo had been dating for years before they even became university roommates. 

“So, you’re saying that you don’t want your roommate to bring so many one night stands over because it annoys you. And you don’t know how to tell her this because you don’t want to hurt her feelings?”

“...Yes, DJ Jelly. I’m not sure how to bring it up with her.” 

Soyeon could swear Miyeon was laughing outside the soundproofed walls of the booth. 

“Well Jisoo, I think the solution is simple. If you don’t want your roommate sleeping with other people, sleep with her instead.” She smirked. If Jisoo wanted to create such a fantastical tale, she was going to get a fantastical answer as well. She knew the senior well enough to know that her reply would have garnered a couple of laughs from her and probably Jennie as well. 

She hung up the call and fired off a few replies to Miyeon who was telling her about a very cute junior that she met in her vocal class. Miyeon had been going on for weeks about how amazing her voice was, despite her lack of professional training. She couldn't believe that the girl was a freshman. 

It had gotten to a point where Soyeon told her to just ask for her KakaoTalk if she was that interested in her. She was glad that her friend had finally taken her up on her advice, even if it had taken a couple of weeks. Apparently, Miyeon had finally worked up the nerve to start a conversation when the girl walked into class with her black hair dyed with uneven patches of blonde and a bandage around her wrist. It was hilarious even for Soyeon. She couldn't imagine how or why that even happened, but she was happy for her friend. 

She had been scanning through Jisoo’s messages to her when the next call came in. 

She had admittedly been distracted, so the rhetorical question that came after her normal greeting forced her to look up from her phone screen.

“How do you live with yourself?” Soyeon sighed. “Oh, it’s you again.” 

She should have named her the ‘overzealous avenger’ or something, because some way or another, this irritating girl kept finding reasons to complain about her show. Soyeon was getting more fed up with her attitude. No one was forcing her to listen to her broadcast. If she hated her that much, she should just listen to a Spotify playlist instead of bothering her. 

“To the caller just now, uhm, Jisoo, was it?” 

Oh, heck no. What was this kid doing? 

Soyeon respected everyone having the right to their opinions. However, she drew the line at disrespecting the boundaries of her broadcast and dismissing her when she was the host. This was her own show. The more the girl talked, the more irritated she got. 

“Just be honest with your roommate. She has to be alone at some point. Try and explain what you’re feeling and maybe come up with a sched-“

She had enough. She had been more than patient with this rude caller. It wasn't the first time that she had called to criticise her. This person had absolutely no manners or respect. She really wanted to act as if she knew better, when she didn’t know the half of the situation. She didn't understand why she felt entitled to cut into someone else’s show. 

“Excuse me, hasn’t anyone told you that it’s rude to hijack someone else’s broadcast?” Gritting her teeth, Soyeon tried to maintain her composure. She was already putting it as nicely as she could. 

“Your voice is everywhere! It’s not like I have a choice when the entire campus broadcasts your dumb program as if it’s the bible!” 

The radio host pursed her lips in slight surprise. She wasn’t expecting that answer. “Thank you for comparing me to God-“ 

“Please take your job seriously. That’s it.” The dial tone rung in her ears. That kid just hung up on her. 

Was she really trying to have the last word? How childish. Who was she to ask her to take her job seriously when she clearly didn’t know anything about Idle Radio or DJ Jelly?

She clicked on ‘So What’, one of the songs on a playlist she created and named ‘Rawr’, because she couldn’t find another word to encompass her mood. Her mood had soured a bit after that. 

She really hoped the rude girl wouldn’t call again. 

~~~

Petty or not, the girl needed a hobby. 

A couple of weeks passed before she realised it. Ever since the last time the outrageous best friend had called, Soyeon had been on her guard, anticipating when the girl might decide to disrupt her show again. She was probably letting the girl get to her a little too much, but it didn't hurt to be cautious. However, after some time of peace, she started to get curious. After all, as Sun Tzu wrote, when making an attack, one must seem inactive. She wouldn't fall for such a deception. Instead, she had to keep alert and figure out if she had any perceived blind spots.

The answer came in the form of Kwon Eunbin, surprisingly. 

Eunbin was one of the few people outside the usual station crew that knew about her radio personality, and one of her closest friends. She had met the younger girl at a music camp during the summer, which she had begged her parents to let her sign up for. It was one of the deciding moments where she had to convince her parents that she wanted her profession to involve music. 

Eunbin was a couple of years her junior, but they became very close due to shared interests and common goals. 

Eunbin was enrolled in the same school that Soyeon was studying in as well, so she became somewhat of a mentor to the younger girl. 

They had been close throughout the remainder of her high school years until she graduated and university life took up most of her time. They had kept in contact sporadically, but she hadn’t asked about career or university plans since she figured that Eunbin still had time to figure out what she wanted to do. She didn’t think that she would be seeing her close friend any time soon until she was caught off guard by a flurry of movement that barrelled into her on the way to class. She didn't even register the bump as their bodies hit the wall behind them.

“Surprise unnie!!!” She wasn’t someone who initiated physical contact, but Eunbin and her were close enough for her to welcome it. 

“Eunbinie?” Soyeon turned to embrace the younger girl whose jacket nearly engulfed her. It had a been a while since they had met in person, although Eunbin looked almost exactly the same. 

She had heard rumours that Jeon Somi had passed the early admission entrance exam, but it hadn’t crossed her mind that Eunbin would have joined at the same time. Somi had already developed a reputation by the time she finished high school, so she wasn’t surprised when she noticed her name in some of the clubs and societies. She knew that the two were close as well, so upon hindsight, she should have asked about Eunbin when she sent Somi a congratulatory message. 

“I didn’t want to ruin the surprise by asking for your class schedule, but Somi told me that you usually pass by around this time. I’m glad I managed to run into you today. It looks like I’ll be in your care again, for the foreseeable future!” 

Since then, they had made it a point to meet up whenever they had free time on the weekends, or study in the library when there were upcoming tests. Somi joined them at times, but it was mostly to distract them and convince them to get food instead of study. 

While Soyeon enjoyed spending time with them, the girls often talked about things involving their cohort, so as a third year, she didn’t have much to contribute. 

“Ah unnie, you know, there’s this freshman in my English class who’s been talking about you lately.” They were studying in a cafe this time, or rather, Eunbin was. Somi was more interested in scrolling through Instagram on her phone, and Soyeon was researching music compilations for one of her new projects. 

“Me? Really?” Soyeon frowned. She didn’t normally mix with juniors; professionally and personally, so she didn’t see a reason for her name to be known amongst them. 

Somi nodded. “Yeah. Well, not exactly you, per se, but your show and alias.” 

“Oh.” Soyeon went silent as she sipped her iced coffee. She might have an idea of who that person was. Most students who followed her show would also know that her identity was one of the well hidden secrets in the school. Those who knew or worked with her personally would never reveal her identity. Her picture didn’t even exist on the school forum. She had always used cartoon renditions as posters or icons. That was just how it was. 

“She’s been asking around for hints about your identity.” The brunette continued. “Is she your friend?” 

Soyeon was slightly curious, but it wasn’t that surprising to hear that freshmen were familiar with her broadcast. She couldn’t say she was worried about either girl spilling her real identity. Even though her and Somi weren’t as close as her and Eunbin were, the two of them had developed a camaraderie over the years and mutual respect for one another. 

“Eh, from our class? Who is it?” At Eunbin’s question, Somi turned to the other girl at the table.

“I don’t remember her first name, but I think her last name is Song.” 

“That doesn’t sound like a typical Korean last name.” Soyeon finally spoke. It was her way of asking if the girl was a foreigner, which was definitely more indirect. 

“Because it’s not.” Somi confirmed her indirect question bluntly. It would probably have been considered offensive if Somi wasn’t half Canadian and considered a foreigner herself. 

Truthfully, Soyeon admired her candour and bravery, because Somi was someone who didn’t let other people’s mean comments bring her down. 

She had witnessed a time when Somi wasn’t as popular or recognised as she was now. The people around her were less than supportive of her aspirations. Furthermore, she was often called “ugly” and ridiculed for not being a “real Korean”. It didn’t matter to other people that her mother was Korean. She wasn’t good enough for them. Somi had confessed to Soyeon once, that she wanted to do plastic surgery to look more Korean, because she had been so miserable. Yet, she continued to chase after what she wanted, and she eventually overcame the prejudice and bullying that were standing in her way. 

At the time, it had been a point where they connected over shared grief over being ostracised for not fitting in. Now, they were protective and supportive of one another’s achievements. 

“Oh! Her! I think I’ve seen her around on campus. She’s close with Minnie unnie right?” Eunbin chimed in excitedly.

“I‘m not sure... I don’t exactly spend a lot of time with them.” Somi turned her attention back to the senior. “But I am curious, why is she so interested in finding out who you are?” 

Soyeon shrugged. “Another student trying their luck, I suppose. I don’t even know this person. You guys are the only freshmen I interact with.” 

The other girl raised her eyebrows and hummed. There was a slight challenge in her gaze that made Soyeon wonder if she had already revealed too much about the situation. “Seems like it’ll be an interesting story to uncover then.”

“Maybe.” Soyeon responded non-commitedly. If this Song girl was who she thought she was, then she would bring it up with her the next time her broadcast got interrupted. If she was wrong, so be it. She wasn’t going to throw a random curious freshman under a Somi-driven bus before being sure of her identity. 

“Ahh by the way, unnie, do you want cake?” Soyeon narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Somi’s face was unreadable. She had become a lot better at acting over the years, but Soyeon knew better. 

“You’re just asking me because you want to eat cake and you want me to pay.” 

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement.” The mischievous girl batted her eyelids innocently. Soyeon rolled her eyes. 

“Ooh! I want cake too! Studying makes me hungry.” Eunbin piped up, glancing between the two of them. Soyeon looked at Somi who was smirking as if she had already won the battle. In a way, Soyeon supposed she did. The two juniors reminded her of her own sister that she didn’t get to see often. As the senior, it was customary for her to treat them to lunch anyway. 

“Alright, alright, go and order the cake you’ve been eyeing.” 

The younger girls cheered in triumph as they rushed to the counter in tandem. It was amusing to see two full grown girls jumping and motioning to different cakes on display. If anyone were to look at their faces, they would think that they were having an intellectual debate, and not simply picking out cakes to share. 

Meanwhile, back at the table, Soyeon took out her phone and typed out a message to Miyeon. The girls wouldn’t be back for a while, so she had to time to figure out something.

‘Unnie, the freshman in your vocal class, what did you say her name was?’

~~

If she remembered correctly, the topic had been about research papers when the call came in. 

The familiar banter started with the caller accusing her of encouraging plagiarism. She had to defend herself, naturally. Now that she knew that the caller was actually a freshman, she was more amused by her antics than annoyed. 

Her advice was textbook. It sounded like something a counsellor or teacher’s assistant would say. As someone who had gone through more years in college, she knew that it was not as simple as she made it out to be. Time management was key in surviving classes. University courses were specifically designed to pressure students into learning how to become efficient and force them out of their comfort zone. Picking their battles and prioritising certain assignments over others was important because certain professors gave higher weightage assessments that went towards their core requirements to graduate. 

She didn’t know what year the student was in, but she had taken an Introduction to Psychology class in her first year. The expectations of the professors were very standard. The theories taught in class were not new, so people who spent more time writing thorough and detailed factual analyses were given higher grades. Hence, it was more important for her to go in depth into the merits and flaws of a theory as compared to writing broad based research paper on a theory taught in class, which the rude girl was suggesting. 

“Then she shouldn’t be wasting more time listening to your terrible advice, Jelly.” “Oh wow, since when did we get so familiar with one another? I don’t even know your name.” Soyeon said in a teasing voice. 

“I could say the same thing about you.” She was reminded of what Somi had mentioned in their meetup. 

“Ah yes. How’s your search coming along? I heard that someone on campus has been asking around about me.“ There was an audible pause. She had been caught off guard. The DJ leaned away from the mic and inwardly squealed in glee. She definitely owed Somi a box of Mochi Mochi cream udons now. 

Found you. 

“You wish. I have better things to do with my time.” 

Soyeon‘s smile grew at the forceful comment. Despite the tone, it was obvious that the girl’s statement was a blatant lie. Whoever this student was, she had been listening to her show, and paying enough attention to her advice such that she could call her just to criticise it. It seemed rather ironic for someone who carried so much negative emotions towards a simple radio show, to spend way more time and effort than necessary finding fault with it.

She believed that the first call was out of vengeance for her supposed best friend. Every other call since then, had been based on nothing but the intention to irritate her. Soyeon didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. 

“... You seem to spend a lot of your time listening to my show, despite how much you claim to hate it.” She pointed out, leaving no room for argument. Soyeon looked at the string of messages from Miyeon who was eagerly texting her from outside the room. 

Apparently, the fourth year thought that inviting the girl to the studio as a guest would increase their overall ratings. The DJ thought about it for a second. It wasn't completely a bad idea. She had to admit that the girl’s devotion to critiquing her show was fascinating. Furthermore, now that she was aware of her identity, it made the girl a lot less formidable. She could always bribe Somi and Eunbin with food for more information if she was desperate enough. 

“Anyway, if you’d like to criticise my advice in person, instead of hogging the phone lines, you can just pay a visit to the studio.” 

~~~

Song Yuqi. 

To say she had been surprised to see the freshman, in particular, standing in front of her would be an understatement. She had promptly proceeded to embarrass herself despite thinking she had the upper hand by asking her to visit the studio. At least, she could finally put a name to the face; and the voice, apparently. However, she hadn’t expected for the cute freshman who had been haunting her mind and the overzealous and rude best friend to end up being the same person. 

What were the odds of this happening?

Miyeon and Chaeyoung were discussing some class assignment they had, so she had sat outside to give them some privacy. She was in the middle of rearranging a song that had been requested by some of the listeners, so as always, she wasn’t really paying attention to her surroundings. 

Yes, she had extended the invitation to the rude best friend, but it was more of a dare than an actual challenge. She didn’t think too much of it afterwards. The people who left her hateful comments were not usually people who would dare to deliver their comments face to face. Hence, the last thing she expected was for the rude caller to turn out to be the same girl who repeatedly went to the wrong classroom. Also known as the really pretty freshman who had left an impression on her. 

She had jumped when she realised that she wasn’t alone. The girl had taken a small step back at her reaction. Upon reflection, their whole interaction was rather embarrassing to recall. She had to be thankful that the girl didn’t seem to remember her. 

They had interacted once, and she had never spoken to her directly. Hence, she didn’t expect for the girl to remember her, or her voice, for that matter. It helped that the voice she used on the radio was more distinct and sharp as compared to her normal voice. 

Miyeon was going to have so much fun with this, she just knew it. It would be over for her once Chaeyoung found out. They wouldn’t let her live it down. 

It didn’t take long for her prophecy to come true.

“You did say you wanted to see her again, didn’t you?” Miyeon said, mirth in her eyes. 

“I didn’t think she’d really show up suddenly.” Soyeon admitted. 

“Oh my gosh!! Is that her?” The squeal from Chaeyoung was high pitched enough for Soyeon to worry that Yuqi had heard it from outside the room. It wasn't exactly soundproof.

She nodded and was about to tell them her name when Chaeyoung got up from the table and went to greet her before she could even open her mouth. Soyeon should have expected no less from the friendly girl. 

She turned back to Miyeon who was grinning way too widely for her comfort.

“I won the bet, by the way. You know what that means right?”

“I’m not going to play classical music during my show.” Soyeon interjected. 

As much as she loved her unnie, she would rather do a collaboration with her, and show off her talents with the violin, instead of play a classical music symphony which most music students majoring in classical music would have grown sick and tired of. 

A while ago, Soyeon had offered to write a collaborative piece that incorporated both Miyeon’s violin and vocal skills. However, the senior had decidedly turned her down. She said she wasn’t ready for that kind of exposure, and Soyeon had respected that decision. 

It didn’t stop her from trying from time to time though. Miyeon had declared her classical major early because of her background in piano and violin. It was only after she had been asked to sing as an accompaniment when she discovered her love for singing. However, people in her course specialisation looked down on students who ventured into pop and contemporary music, calling it “uncultured”. 

“I wasn’t going to ask you to.” Soyeon gave her a disbelieving stare. 

“I mean it! I wasn’t going to ask you to play classical music. You’ve already rejected my suggestion so many times.” The older brunette pouted dejectedly. 

“Ugh, don’t do aegyo, unnie.” The DJ groaned. Her animated pout disappeared within a second, turning into a cheeky smirk. 

“Bet you’d be fine with it if she did it.” 

Soyeon looked down to hide her blush. “Anyway, speaking of bets, what do you want?” 

The senior pretended to give it some thought. “Put Super Junior onto your daily playlist for a week.” 

“What?!” Soyeon exclaimed. “How long have you been an ELF?” 

The senior’s hesitation gave her a hint. She narrowed her eyes. 

“It’s not you, who wants to hear Super Junior songs, is it?” Soyeon glared accusatorily. 

“Um, I should go and introduce myself.” Miyeon let out a nervous laugh as she excused herself. She watched the older girl all but run out of the room, all too eager to be in the safety of their guest’s presence. 

The DJ waited for a while before going outside. The other two were asking about her interests and course breakdown and Soyeon shot them a warning stare. Chaeyoung and Miyeon retreated to the room, presumably to continue working on their assignment, although Soyeon knew that the assignment was probably the last thing on their minds now that they had something new to tease her about. 

She could guess where they were heading with their inquiries. It was no secret that they needed a few juniors to take over the station after they graduated. However, Soyeon didn’t necessarily want to accept just any freshman who decided to walk in. She needed people she could trust; people who were as committed as her when it came to the managing of the radio station. 

She sat on the other end of the couch where the girl was sitting, ensuring that there was enough space between them before she spoke. 

“Please excuse me, I forgot to introduce myself just now. I’m Jeon Soyeon, third year music major.” 

“Song Yuqi. Freshman. Majoring in trying to pass my classes so I can take my language specialisations next year.” The senior chuckled at that. So, despite her animosity, the rude girl did have a sense of humour after all.

“I see. Would you like us to refer to you as Yuqi on-air or do you have a preferred name you’d like to be known as?” 

“Uh, just Yuqi is fine. I don’t think I’ll be staying for the full broadcast anyway.” Soyeon noticed the girl’s slightly nervous glances around the studio. She briefly wondered what was going through her mind at that moment. 

Was she looking for someone?

“Oh. Why not?” She asked, trying to keep the conversation going. There was something about the timbre of Yuqi’s voice that she liked. She wanted to hear it again. 

“I don’t think I’m suited for this kind of stuff. I don’t really know how to engage listeners and all...” 

The younger girl trailed off until Soyeon could barely make out the words she was saying. However, she didn’t try to push her for more. Yuqi seemed embarrassed. It was a far cry from the aggressive and loud voice she had grown accustomed to hearing on the phone. In a way, it was also ironic for her to think that way, because the disparity between her radio personality and her was arguably similar. 

“... Besides, all I did was argue with DJ Jelly a couple of times. I don’t think that’s very entertaining.” 

She really begged to differ. This freshman probably didn’t venture onto campus forums or public platforms because she would have seen the amount of people trying to figure out who this mysterious rude caller was. She was immensely popular.

“You might be surprised at how you can affect others.” It was a cryptic statement, admittedly, but she didn’t exactly want to reveal herself so soon. She didn’t want her guest to run out of the studio before actually listening to her show. 

Their conversation was interrupted by Miyeon. To which, Soyeon was thankful. Part of her was excited to do the broadcast with a guest in the hall, while the other part was concerned about what Yuqi would think of her after she realised the truth. She had guests on the show, but having someone like Yuqi in the studio felt different. Either way, it was too late to do anything. 

She turned to the window by chance, and caught a glimpse of the girl’s mortified expression. She was certain the other girl was yelling, and her words were probably not suited for the broadcast. It was a good thing the booth was soundproof. She pitied Miyeon who had to suffer outside. Holding in her laughter was a big struggle but she managed it until she turned her back to the door. 

This was going to be fun.

~~~

She finally relaxed when the freshman left the radio station. Soyeon was surprised that she had decided to stay for the entire show, since the freshman had been rather unwilling to participate in the beginning. She didn’t want to say anything in front of their guest, but it was refreshing to have someone bounce off her ideas and banter with her. As DJ Jelly, being borderline ridiculous and having a sardonic sense of humour was pretty much in the job description. No one had taken any offense to her comments and it was an unspoken consensus that everything was for the sake of entertainment. 

Song Yuqi was definitely one of a kind. The fact that she could make the same mistake four times within the first semester of school was already incredible. If anyone wanted to display a unique individual, she would have already fit the bill before she even dialled the station’s number and yelled at her. 

“How is our dear Soyeonie?” Miyeon pranced into the room with an enchanting smile. “Did you enjoy your little blind date?” 

“What?” Soyeon asked incredulously. She was bent over her computer and setting up the queue for rest of the evening. Chaeyoung had left hours ago, so it was just her and Miyeon to close up the station. 

Her arms were full of cables, but she didn’t want to lose her train of thought so she balanced them in her arms as she programmed the queued songs to play for the next few hours. Noticing the shift of her body weight, the older girl took a few cords from her arms to lessen her burden. 

“That definitely wasn’t a blind date.” 

“I mean, before today, you two didn’t interact in person. You definitely liked her, and she stayed the entire time despite how much you said she hates DJ Jelly. I think it’s clear that she likes you too.” Miyeon placed the wires back in the storage box at the corner of the room before she poked the DJ’s side. “Sounds like a blind date to me.”

“You’re being ridiculous, unnie. There’s nothing going on between us.” Soyeon admonished lightly, but she blushed all the same. It was a reflex.

“Yet.” Miyeon added. “By the way, I didn’t hear any of the songs I selected on your playlist today.”

“They’re being queued for later.” She said, gesturing to the computer screen. The older girl scurried past her to look through the choices and frowned. 

“You didn’t pick any of the songs I selected.” Miyeon extended her bottom lip in a pout that would probably make the entire student population fall to the ground. However, Soyeon just raised one eyebrow quizzically.

“Your request was to play Super Junior songs, not specifically the ones you picked.” 

“‘Sorry Sorry’ is a classic!” The other brunette exclaimed. 

“Well, I think ‘Thirst’ is more appropriate for your state of mind right now. ‘Sexy, Free and Single’ too.” 

Miyeon gasped in her gloriously exaggerated fashion and protested. “But I’m not!!” 

“Oh? Which of those words are you referring to?” Soyeon smirked as the senior blanched, realising her mistake. 

She could see her friend attempting to backtrack but it was too late. Soyeon had the benefit of knowing more than necessary about their relationship. Over the course of their friendship, she had garnered a lot of ammunition to poke fun at the senior, who returned fire just as freely. Yet, teasing Miyeon was always amusing because she had adorable reactions when she couldn't come up with a good enough comeback. After a few seconds of silence, Soyeon was certain that her unnie’s brain had malfunctioned so she caved and place her hand on her shoulder. 

“Tell your girlfriend to tune in around 2pm tomorrow and I’ll play ‘Bonamana’ and ‘Mr Simple’.” 

She wasn’t surprised in the least to hear the older girl’s excited squeal before she was tackled in a side hug. She had gotten used to the force that the senior used when it came to hugs, so she just accepted the gesture of affection. 

“Thank you!! You’re the best Soyeonie!” Miyeon ran out of the room, presumably to inform her said girlfriend. Soyeon shook her head. She knew without a doubt that they weren’t official yet but Miyeon didn’t even try to deny her relationship status. Having that much relationship security was a good thing. 

“Who’s the whipped one now, unnie?” She called out.

“It’s still you!” Came Miyeon’s answer, without the slightest hesitation. 

Getting ready to leave, the DJ slung her backpack over her shoulders and set a reminder for herself to add ‘No Other’ and ‘Marry U’ to the playlist, just for kicks. With the rate they were going, she had no doubt that she would be asked to make a relationship playlist for them soon. 

~~

She honestly wasn’t expecting the other girl to show up again, much less within 48 hours. Then again, Song Yuqi hardly ever did anything she anticipated. 

Her segment was due to start in the late afternoon so she had arrived early to set up and complete some of her assignments. While DJ Jelly would advise other students to find ways and means around the rules, Jeon Soyeon was someone who didn’t take shortcuts; especially when it came to her own productions. It wasn’t hell week yet, but she had a couple of big assessments coming up. There was no harm and instead, great merit in starting early. 

As a music writing and composition student, she was put under constant pressure to innovate and write songs. In the first few semesters, she struggled to find a way to balance out her genuine interest as well as her academics. Composing melodies and writing lyrics was fun when it was taken as leisure, but when her grades were riding on it, she found that it was challenging to maintain her love and passion for music. As a third year, she realised that music shouldn’t be divided into ‘work’ and ‘play’, but rather, ‘work’ should always be ‘play’. As soon as she got rid of the distinction, she realised that inspiration appeared in bits and pieces and in different forms. It was just a matter of connecting them into ideas and concepts to build pieces on. 

Usually, once she found a theme or overarching philosophy, all the elements would start coming together. Hence, whenever she had a deadline, she would spend time wandering along the Yangjaecheon river near to her home in search of inspiration. 

It had been a habit of hers since middle school. Whenever she experienced stress or needed to calm down, she would go for a walk and she found herself drawn to the ever flowing stream of water. It was constant, unbending and powerful. It gave her peace of mind and solace, especially during the period when she was struggling to find her own direction. 

That was the place where she came up with the starting chords for her final music project in her freshman year of university. It underwent numerous revisions but at the end, the final product gave her a high enough grade to gain the professor’s recommendation and recognition to secure a future internship at a reputable music production company. 

Since then, she had made that river her special place. 

During her most recent venture, she had chanced upon a graffiti ridden wall under one of the many bridges along the banks. The paint had faded over time and countless artists had used the canvass many times over. The chaos wasn’t the first thing that caught her attention though. Instead, it was the scattered petals of what looked like an Azalea flower that remained in her mind even after she reached home. 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood in the shadows under that bridge, listening to the water and the solitary footsteps of people walking on the bridge above her.

She pictured a person, fresh from a breakup, walking along the river at night, contemplating their relationship and how it had run its course. The only thing breaking the pensive silence being the sound of the water, wind, and their lonely footsteps that got more resolute as they reached the mouth of the river. Before she knew it, she was at home, digging up her old notes on Korean poetry and paying homage to Kim Sowol’s works.

She wanted to capture something, an emotion, that couldn’t be explained using words. It was angry, resigned, lonely, hollow, and betrayed. Yet, it also burned with the desire and will to move on, alone. 

The crackling of the intercom disrupted her concentration. Glaring at the speaker, Soyeon hurriedly wrote down a few more notes and pointers before the entire melody slipped from her mind. 

She had locked the room on purpose. Miyeon knew better than to disturb her when she had an assignment. She had been checking the clock from time to time, so she knew that while it was nearing her broadcast schedule, there was still a couple of minutes before she had to get ready. She was ready to say something when Miyeon spoke.

“Soyeon-ah, your guest is here.” 

She spun around to see the stunned and rather sheepish freshman, and she really couldn’t be angry anymore. 

~~~

Song Yuqi really wasn’t as discreet as she made herself out to be. She had lost count of the number of times the freshman had looked over at her in the course of the past half an hour. She had asked her to lead some of the calls, hoping that it would give her some peace of mind, or at least distract her from constantly staring. 

Miyeon had informed her about the younger girl’s project so she figured that giving her more opportunities wouldn’t harm her report. 

Again; Soyeon could feel the other girl’s eyes on her. As much as a person’s gaze didn’t have physical impact on another’s skin, it was normal for humans to gain a sense when they were being watched. She figured it was instinctive, a form of evolutionary instinct for prey to gain a form of awareness when they were being hunted. 

She only heard the tail end of the girl’s story but she was ready with a snarky comment at the tip of her tongue. 

“Tell her to go for couple’s therapy. They obviously need it.” 

“JEO-JELLY!” Soyeon definitely heard the slip. Yuqi wasn’t good at concealing her feelings, or mistakes. She had a very straightforward way of behaving, and despite it backfiring a couple of times, Soyeon felt that it was a strength and not a weakness. 

However, she noticed how the freshman’s eyes widened. Yuqi looked absolute petrified at the thought that she might have revealed her secret, so she decided to do her a favour and pretend it didn’t happen. 

“Was I wrong?” 

“That’s not the issue here.” Soyeon wanted to roll her eyes. This phone call was already stretching the limits. She usually allocated a certain amount of time for each caller, depending on the situation. If it was her taking the lead, she would have thrown out a couple of sarcastic comments and moved on. However, since it was Yuqi’s call, she was stuck with the would-be counsellor. Every call seemed to drag even longer than the previous one. At this rate, Yuqi should just have her own segment. Soyeon made a mental note to call that segment “I-Talk” because the freshman really talked too much. 

“Maybe you can ask her to talk to her boyfriend about her feelings instead of asking you to delete your own photographs.” 

“Or,” She had listened to this long enough. If she had not interjected, Yuqi would have probably launched into a deep conversation about feelings and sorting out their differences. A quick glance to her phone would have told her how many callers were tentatively in queue. Miyeon had been graciously patient with the newcomer today, but Soyeon wasn’t about to let her spend all her time on one call. They did have a schedule to follow.

“Maybe a better solution would just be to tell the girl to dump her boyfriend. Why be in a relationship with someone they can’t trust?” 

“Have you never been in a relationship?” The younger girl seemed unusually uptight. Soyeon noticed the slight edge to her question and bristled. 

“Of course I have.” She scoffed. What an insult. 

She was a third year student in university. Of course, she would have at least been in a couple of relationships in her lifetime. Although she hadn’t particularly enjoyed them, the insinuation hurt. 

She had no illusions about herself. She knew all too well that she wasn’t pretty. Her first crush had told her so, frankly. She had repeated it until she had grown numb to people who used it as an insult. Her features weren’t up to society’s standard of beauty, she was a socially awkward perfectionist that didn’t know how to express herself very well, and her normal speaking voice wasn’t attractive. With all that, being unattractive wasn’t something she could deny. Still, it was a bit insulting for the junior to judge her on such a superficial level. 

More so, because after hearing Yuqi’s advice on finding inner strength and confidence during their previous session, she thought the other girl would have delved deeper into the fundamental elements of a relationship. It didn’t help that she was naturally stunning when she smiled, and her eye smiles could probably melt even the coldest person’s heart. However, the moment she opened her mouth, she became the most annoying person in the room because she still spoke like someone who had no life or dating experience outside from movies and books. Then, something occurred to her. She turned to the girl beside her.

“Have you?” 

“No, but it doesn’t make me wrong.” Yuqi folded her arms across her chest. They were heading into sensitive territory. 

“Maybe. But it does make you less knowledgeable.” She said carefully. It was difficult to argue against a fact like that. She could see Yuqi switch gears once she made that comment. The younger girl turned back into her more radio friendly self. 

“Then what would you have done if you were in her position?”

“I’d create a number of posts with advice aimed at couples and links to couple therapy and then tag both of them. Sooner or later, at least one of them will get the message.”

Yuqi looked exasperated. “Why did I bother asking...” 

Hearing the caller’s voice again reminded her why she had even wanted to cut in. She wondered how long this call alone had lasted for. Thankfully, the girl ended the call soon after that and Soyeon was free to send out a message to thank Miyeon for holding the fort. Miyeon simply sent her a Super Junior sticker on KakaoTalk, which almost made her laugh. She had already queued ‘Fever’ as the next song, so her dear senior would have to wait. 

She had changed browser windows to check on the social media pages when she heard Yuqi’s voice from beside her. 

“I can’t believe you told someone to dump their boyfriend.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t.” Soyeon responded nonchalantly. 

She didn’t really feel like starting a quarrel with her at the moment. She was already dangerously close to letting a comment affect her mood, despite her promise to herself, when she first became DJ Jelly, that she wouldn’t. Granted, it had been made by Yuqi and not just any anonymous user on the internet, but she refused to consider that as the sole reason why she had been upset. She tried to maintain the balance between seriousness and light-hearted humour in her reply but she didn’t succeed entirely. 

“I couldn’t believe; until you said that you’ve never been in a relationship.”

There was a flash of something in Yuqi’s eyes, before it shifted to hurt. Soyeon hadn’t realised the magnitude of the situation since she had been caught up with her own emotions at the time, but it was obviously a sore spot for her too. 

The younger brunette sighed and it seemed like it took a great deal of effort for her to continue speaking.

“It’s not like I’ve never dated or had crushes. I’ve done that; I’ve tried. I can’t do something and invest in someone if it’s going to be short lived. I just... I guess I don’t really want to get into a relationship with someone unless I really find someone who’s a good match for me.” 

Soyeon felt rather ashamed for calling the younger girl out in that manner. She hadn’t intended to hurt the girl with her statement. However, on hindsight, she should have anticipated that there would be more to Yuqi’s seemingly idealistic perspective than it appeared. 

Yuqi’s point of view was perfectly reasonable, and quite unlike the naive and rose tinted notion that she had pictured in her head. Apologising wouldn’t help the situation. It wasn't as easy as deleting or removing a comment posted on the internet. She couldn't turn back time and un-say her words so the least she could do was not make things any worse. 

Yuqi was sitting less than two meters away from her but her mind was miles away. She didn’t know what possessed her to reach out but Yuqi jerked when her hand came into contact with her arm. She didn’t seem uncomfortable though, just surprised, and that ultimately was what encouraged her to go on instead of moving away immediately. 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that mindset.” Yuqi met her gaze when she said that. It felt as though she was searching for any signs that Soyeon was lying. She wasn’t. Soyeon felt the unspoken insecurity and panic that the other girl had, and she tried to reassure her as much as she could. 

Relationships weren’t the defining factor of a person’s worth. Neither was it something that was necessary in order to survive. She wasn’t sure what the other girl had experienced to make her so ashamed of her own ideals, but Soyeon was resolved to at least show her that she didn’t think less of her for it. As much as DJ Jelly would have used it to make a snide comment as a prank, Soyeon drew a line between her persona and her genuine response. Besides, Yuqi wasn’t that bad. 

“Sometimes it’s the trying and failing that helps you figure out what you really want in a relationship. Cheer up, Yuqi-ah. University is a big place, and you’ve got the rest of your life after school to find someone who can be a good match for the long run. You’ve still got a couple of years to figure it out. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a good match when you least expect it.”

When she looked in the other girl’s direction, there was a faint smile on her face and she grinned in relief.  
Given how inaccurate her initial assumption was, she wasn’t sure how helpful her advice would be to the other girl. Yet, at the very least, she had gotten Yuqi to smile again, and that was good enough for her. 

There was a saying about that, Soyeon recalled. 

Keep smiling because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.

It was a terrible and inaccurate statement. She disliked whoever came up with it. If a person only fell in love with another person when they smiled, then they wouldn’t comprehend the feeling of sharing another person’s sorrow and turning it into happiness. Truly loving someone was loving them no matter what emotion they were going through. 

Soyeon looked at the pensive girl next to her and decided to throw her a distraction. Scribbling rapidly on the song schedule which she had printed for her own reference, she slid the paper across the invisible barrier between them. She watched as Yuqi’s eyes scanned the note and shot to her in shock when she understood the message. Of course, she had come prepared. If Yuqi wasn’t able to come up with something in time, she already had a description of the song and script ready for her to refer to. She wouldn’t throw the girl into the deep end without actually having a life jacket and rescue boat on standby, ready to save her if things went awry.

She watched Yuqi’s eyes widen and how she spam typed on her phone, even though she could have asked her for the lyrics or borrowed her laptop.

When her time was almost up, Yuqi looked away from her notes and her shoulders slumped. Soyeon was ready to hand her the script to read from when she noticed a certain steel in her eyes. Her gaze was determined and committed; and Soyeon felt just a bit proud of her. 

Okay, more than a bit. 

“The next song is a passionate perspective on romance. It’s, uh, it describes meeting someone whose gaze is so...magnetic that you can’t bear to look away from.” The freshman took a second to pause and swallow her nerves, which Soyeon noticed. She wanted to encourage her but Yuqi was deliberately avoiding her gaze so she figured that she shouldn’t let her intentions be misconstrued as giving her extra pressure. 

“And even if you escape, you always come back to them, every time. Like destiny. So, um, here’s Lovelyz with their hit single, ‘Destiny’.” 

She watched her co-host exhale and put a hand to her chest, as if she had experienced a terrifying trial and couldn’t believe she had made it out alive. She couldn’t hide the smile on her face fast enough. 

There was this moment, where she saw Yuqi go from the confident speaker to a nervous girl who had spent so much energy in making sure she succeeded, that she felt an immense amount of relief when she finally made it. Her confidence deflated and she became Song Yuqi, a freshman who was genuinely trying her best. She was reminded of the Yuqi who sat down next to her, completely oblivious to the fact that she was in the wrong class. Soyeon found that she rather liked this Yuqi’s company. 

Yuqi did a weird victory dance, which made her look like she was about to fall out of her chair with the amount of vigour she was shaking with. Soyeon didn’t want to ruin her moment, not when Yuqi was probably still upset that she threw her such an unexpected challenge. So, she pretended to be absorbed in sifting through her inbox.

Thankfully, she had received a message from Miyeon, asking her about another song to add to her list. At least she had something to direct her attention towards. She hoped that Yuqi would interpret the smile on her face as a response to what she was reading, and not because she was watching her. It was getting more difficult to control her facial expressions when she was around Yuqi, which made the freshman a dangerous person to interact with. She didn't like feeling so exposed.

It wasn’t her fault that the freshman was ridiculously cute when she wasn't being irritating. 

~~


	2. I Made (DJ Jelly)

“Soyeonie~!” She instinctively turned at the sound of her name being called. The door was ajar and Miyeon’s head was peeking in. She probably didn’t even register when she was doing aegyo anymore. 

Recently, she had been leaving the door unlocked in case needed to reach her. To her relief, everyone knew not to disturb her when she was working on something. She had recently made quite a bit of progress with the lyrics and melody so she was in a good mood. 

“Yes?” Soyeon lifted her headphones away from her ears to show that she was listening. 

“Our baby brought food. At least come and say hello, even if you’re not going to eat.” Soyeon gave her a wry smile at the nickname and the senior was gone. 

Ever since the freshman had started making regular appearances a few times a week, Miyeon had been calling her “Our Baby” as a pun derived from her name. She had thought it was genius and Yuqi had gone along with it. The freshman had gotten surprisingly close to the other girls over the past few weeks, and she was happy to know that Yuqi was growing more comfortable in the station. 

However, things between them hadn’t changed much. There wasn't any animosity between them anymore, but their relationship was strictly professional. They kept up their playful banter during the radio show, and they made small talk when they were within a group, but she wouldn’t define their relationship as particularly close. Neither party made any extra effort to start a conversation, nor did Yuqi show her any sign that she wanted to get to know her in a less professional sense, so she couldn't help but feel that perhaps the freshman wasn't really that interested in befriending her. 

Despite Yuqi’s eagerness to learn, Soyeon couldn’t help but remember that the girl was just here to fulfil her credits for her course. She wasn’t exactly that invested in them other than in a professional capacity. She didn’t exactly want to get attached to someone whose presence was only temporary. Miyeon had chided her for having such a pessimistic mindset, but that was where the two of their approaches diverged. The fourth year was openly friendly and she was easy to talk to. Soyeon only spent time and showed her more vulnerable side to people who were worth her effort. That wasn't to say that she completely shut out the possibility of becoming more than co-workers though. 

She told herself that if Yuqi came to her classroom again, she would say something about it to her. However, Yuqi had been going to the right classroom recently, which meant that other than during broadcasts, they hardly had opportunities to interact in a less formal capacity. 

Yes, she admitted that Yuqi almost always arrived early for broadcasts and joined the others in the meeting room, but she had never been someone who was actively involved in groups. She didn’t mind being around her friends, but she tended to not have much to contribute to the conversation. She wasn't involved in school activities like Miyeon; and neither was she interested in the latest trends like Chaeyoung. There wasn't much opinion she could offer. Yuqi, on the other hand, seemed to be able to join a conversation no matter the topic. It was a skill she wished she had. Instead, in her case, socialising to that extent would take up more energy than she could expend. 

Sometimes when it became too noisy, she preferred to just spend time alone with her thoughts. However, the station had become less conducive recently. Hence, when she realised that Yuqi was going to be around more often than not, she decided to escape the social pressure. She couldn't very well hide in her booth all the time. She needed a different, separate place to exist, where she could concentrate and either study or write music without any distractions. 

That was coincidentally how she ended up befriending her TA.

The situation happened rather unexpectedly. She usually didn't feel comfortable with a teacher’s assistant, because despite their academic status as a student, it always felt like there was a wall between them. Thus, it was even more remarkable that one of her closest friendships bloomed from it. 

She had found an empty table in the library. It was tucked away in the corner, far away from prying stares and nosy librarians who always thought that students came to the library to fool around. Granted, it wasn’t that inaccurate. Given that she too, had come across a number of couples in her forays into the reserved sections of the archives. 

She usually spent a couple of hours studying or writing lyrics that come to mind. She had been doing just that when she heard a soft cough from behind her. It was particularly odd because no one usually approached her, in class or on the street. That was one of the reasons why she didn't want her identity to be made public. She paused her music to acknowledge the person’s presence but she realised that as much as the girl looked familiar, she couldn’t remember her name. 

“Excuse me, hello,” The girl greeted politely. “Sorry to bother you... You’re Jeon Soyeon right? I think you’re in my TA class this semester?” 

“Ah, yes, Hi...” Soyeon returned feebly. She felt embarrassed at the sound of her own voice. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. It would be awful to admit that despite seeing someone every week to mark attendance and receiving email notifications about the lectures, she didn’t actually remember her TA’s name. Checking through her emails to verify her name would be way too obvious, and she would look even more of an idiot.

“I’m Seo Soojin. We were in the same Music Theory class during freshman year...” The girl introduced herself, saving Soyeon the awkwardness of having to ask. She blinked, trying to recall the presence of a blonde girl in her class. She would have definitely taken notice of a blonde student, since in the first year of college, students were more conservative. Yet, to her frustration, she couldn’t seem to recall this girl being there. Soojin seemed like a nice person too, which made Soyeon feel even more ashamed that she hadn’t noticed the other girl, even though she had clearly been remembered. 

Soyeon tended to venture too deep into her thoughts, so she was glad when the other girl spoke again.

“This might sound a little strange; but I noticed that you always sit alone so I was wondering if I could join you today?” 

Her voice was sweet and airy, and it pulled her back to reality. Soojin reminded Soyeon of cotton candy for some reason. She wasn’t sure if Soojin was whispering or if her voice was naturally this soft, but somehow, her voice put her at ease. 

Soojin’s long blonde hair seemed to have gotten trapped between some of her books. She shifted the books in her arms and moved her hair behind her shoulder. As she did so, the lines on her forearms that came from cradling her books became visible. That motion effectively nudged Soyeon back to reality and she gestured quickly to the seats around her. The whole thing happened within the span of two minutes maximum, but it felt like an hour to Soyeon. 

“Sorry. Soojin-ssi, please sit down.” 

The girl placed a stack books next to her gratefully. Soyeon was about to continue with writing her notes until Soojin leaned over and whispered to her again. 

“Sorry to impose upon you again, but would it be alright if my friend comes over later? I was supposed to meet her here to study, but there aren’t any other tables available...”

“Of course. I have an appointment in the afternoon so I’ll be leaving soon, anyway.” Soyeon smiled in reassurance.

There was a few minutes of awkward silence while the blonde arranged her belongings on the table, while Soyeon struggled to come up with a way to start a conversation because the atmosphere was getting really weird. The other third year beat her to it though. 

“Is that one of the required readings for comparative music studies?” 

Soyeon hesitated and lifted the front cover of the book she was reading. She didn’t really prepare for class by doing all the specific readings. She preferred to read broadly and find out about other opinions and cultures related to the arrangements. 

“I guess so?” Soojin chuckled good naturedly at her answer. It was as if she understood her hesitation. 

“You don’t have to be so formal with me, you know? I got the TA position because I’m not planning to take the class, not because of my grades.”

Soyeon couldn’t deny her surprise. There were two ways by which one could become a TA in college. The first was the more common way, which was to finish that module with the highest score in their class. The second, which was more unusual, was to show the professor that they had no intention of taking that class in future. 

“You’re not? What are you majoring in, then?” 

“Performing Arts, but I intend to pursue both dance and vocal performance majors.” 

“Sounds like a heavy course load.” Soyeon commented. She was acquainted with people who were studying in either of those courses, but they were always complaining about their tuition fees and how they hardly have time to do anything else. She couldn’t imagine how someone could manage both as well as a TA position. 

“It’s what we have to do to fulfil our dreams, right?”

Soojin shrugged mildly but she had a calm and serene voice when she replied. It was as if she had made her decision and was determined to get through it. Soyeon admired that part about her. 

They spent the next half an hour doing their work separately, until Soyeon felt her phone vibrate from the alarm she usually set to ensure that she wasn’t late. Time had flown by, and she hadn’t felt discomforted by her presence. It had been a while since she studied with someone, but she found that she quite enjoyed it.

She looked at her unexpected companion, who was engrossed in making notes about an article she was reading. It would be weird to suddenly say goodbye, since they weren’t exactly friends. However, they weren’t exactly strangers either and it would be weirder if she left without saying anything. She chose the former option, since she thought that it wouldn’t do her any harm to make a new acquaintance, and studying with her fellow course mate hadn’t been a bad experience. It occurred to her that most of her friends were either her seniors or juniors, so befriending someone her age was refreshing. 

“I’ll head off now, but please feel free to continue using the table when your friend comes.” 

The blonde looked up, slightly surprised that she was being addressed. However, her expression quickly changed to a friendly smile. 

“Thank you, I will. It was nice talking to you, Soyeon-ssi.” 

“I’ll see you around in school then, Soojin-ssi.” 

“Likewise, Soyeon-ssi.” 

She was walking through the shelves and nearing the exit when she heard thundering footsteps and a tall figure blurred past her. She was nearly knocked over, but she maintained her balance by holding onto a bookshelf. 

Realising her unintentional actions, the girl turned around and bowed apologetically. “Sorry!” 

Soyeon frowned as the girl ran off in the direction she was heading, heavy footsteps in her wake. She wasn’t sure how old the student was, but it was clear from her Korean that she was a foreigner. She didn’t want to lecture a stranger on etiquette even though this was a library, so she let it go and continued walking.

“Jjinjin-ah!!! I’m here!” She heard the girl say, before there was a rapid amount of shushing and giggling coming from the direction she had come from. 

Soyeon shrugged as she stepped out of the library. She hoped that the blonde she was studying with hadn’t been disturbed by the commotion. The other people in the library must have been annoyed as well. She was glad she wasn't staying in the library any longer because there would definitely be no peace. 

~~~~

For the first time in a while, Soyeon felt a great detestation for song breaks. She was filled with an unfamiliar dread as she announced a song break and started shifting through her playlist to ensure that there were no song repeats. 

At least during the calls, her attention, as well as Yuqi’s, would be on the caller and their questions. The freshman had been unusually intent on riling her up that day. She had no idea what had changed over the past couple of weeks, but Yuqi was suddenly adamant about asking her friend to visit the station. She had been relentless in her questioning and probing, trying to persuade Soyeon to agree. If it had been Miyeon who directed Yuqi’s focus to her, then she would definitely have some words with the older girl later. 

She had just started playing IU’s ‘BbiBbi’, when her co-host spoke again. 

“Can you at least think about letting her come?” She didn’t even bother looking at her. Yuqi was probably trying to give her a wounded puppy look. 

“No.” 

“Please! She won’t tell anyone...” 

“You’ve said ‘please’ three times already.” She pointed out casually. 

“If you’d said yes, I wouldn’t have to keep repeating it.” The freshman quipped back. 

“I told you, I don’t want random people coming into the studio as and when they please. I like that only a select few people know who I am.” Soyeon explained frankly. She had chosen an alias that wouldn’t have made sense to most people for this exact reason. The only people who had even heard the song she submitted for her freshman year song writing assignment were herself, the professor, and her assigned mentor for that course. 

The first version of the song received horrible reviews and she had very nearly failed the assignment. However, the professor had taken pity on her being inexperienced and searching for her sound. Hence, he had advised her to go with a different concept because the public wasn’t forgiving towards artists. Once they had a negative image in their minds, it was very hard to change their impression and gain acclaim.

Still, it had been a rather crushing blow to her when she received the grade report, but she told herself that she needed to work harder and give the professor less reason to find fault with her work in future. His words of advice stuck with her and they were part of the reason why she branched out into experimental concepts to push the boundaries of public expectations. 

She later came up with a follow up piece to the assignment to pull her final grade up, which the professor liked so much that he recommended it to someone in the industry. 

For her, everything began with that one song, so the name had a special place in her heart. It reminded her of how much she had grown and improved since then, and how far she still had to go before she could be anywhere near satisfied with herself as an artist. Whenever she thought of her journey so far, she felt proud of herself for proving that she could succeed by continuously working hard and not giving up. 

However, that story wasn’t something she wanted to share, and she didn’t feel the need to explain herself even more to Yuqi.

“Besides, there are also protocols to follow. We had to submit a proposal and report when we invited you in.” She added. There were many reasons why she didn’t trust just anyone to come to the studio, but she hoped the freshman would understand that it wasn’t just because of her identity. 

“She’s not a random person. She’s my best friend!” They were going in circles. She didn’t like arguing as much as Yuqi seemed to think she did. She had made her point several times and her stance was clear. Yet, she didn’t seem to get the message.

“That may be true, but I don’t know her.” Soyeon replied.

Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. She knew who Minnie was, mainly because Miyeon wouldn’t stop talking about her. She also knew more than she wanted to know about their dates, thanks to the same person. However, she had never met the girl. She knew that she would have to meet her sometime, as one of Miyeon’s close friends, but she would prefer to do it in another setting. 

“Of course not! I haven’t introduced you yet! I was a stranger to you once. Doesn’t everyone start off that way?” 

Soyeon faced the younger girl and tilted her head. She was pushing this one issue very persistently, so there had to be a reason for it. Considering that the admittance of any guest had to go through her, she knew very well that getting her friend approved wasn’t impossible, but she didn’t want to do it unless there was really a good reason. 

She crossed her arms and watched Yuqi’s reaction closely.

“Why is my meeting this one person so important to you?” 

“Because... she’s important to me... and I want people who are important to me, to meet one another.” Soyeon sighed. 

She knew what the girl was implying, but she didn’t like the way she phrased it. Flattery wasn't a method that worked well with her. She didn’t think Yuqi would outright consider her an important person, but she supposed that having a friend over would make her co-host more comfortable. Hence, she didn’t want to deny her that. She wasn’t a complete monster. Plus, it would be a nice treat for Miyeon too.

The younger girl looked defeated. She didn't like seeing her so sad. 

“She can come.” 

“WAH! Really? Soyeon, you’re the best!! Thank you so much!”

She barely had time to register her own name when she felt the squeeze of Yuqi’s arms around her. The gasp she let out was unintentional and she hoped the other girl didn’t notice. The other girl seemed to realise that she wasn’t responding to the back hug and released her. Soyeon found herself at a loss for words, still trying to process everything that was happening. First things first, she had to calm down. Her heart was still pounding and she felt the need for fresh air. 

She heard the strangled apology as well as how cold the room was when Yuqi stepped away. She hadn’t realised how warm the younger girl felt when she was hugging her. Or maybe she was the one who was burning up. 

She needed water; or fresh air and a distraction. That would probably help. 

“Uh-uhm, it’s fine. I’m going... I’m going to get a drink. Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good. Thanks!” Yuqi seemed to be relieved, and that eased her worry too. 

Seizing her chance to escape, Soyeon all but scurried out of the room the moment the younger girl turned to her phone, presumably to update her friend with the good news. Meanwhile she, on the other hand, went on a search for clarification. 

She found the person she was looking for in the waiting area, eating a cupcake from a box that Yuqi had brought for them.

“Unnie!” Miyeon jumped at the volume of her voice and looked up, mouthful of food. Soyeon stifled a laugh at how cute she looked. 

“What?” She said, amidst the attempt to swallow the food quickly. 

“Did you invite your girlfriend to the studio?” 

“Uh... no?” Miyeon furrowed her brow and checked her messages. “When did she say she was coming?” 

“Apparently she made a request through her best friend.” She replied. The older girl nodded in understanding and looked almost proud to hear that. 

“It’s smart of her to think of that. Even though I’m your favourite senior, you’d definitely have a harder time saying ‘No’ to your crush.”

“There are a lot of things wrong with that statement.” Soyeon crossed her arms, unimpressed. 

“Well, you’re not very discreet, Soyeonie, and neither is she.” Conveniently focusing on the “crush” part of her statement, Miyeon asserted. At her confused expression, Miyeon rolled her eyes, as if she was already being obvious with her allegations. “Did you think we wouldn’t notice you disappearing more often instead of coming here?” 

“I’ve been studying!” She defended. She had actually gotten more work done over the past few days due to her trips to the library, so she wasn’t sorry. 

“We’re not upset, don’t worry. I’m just saying that we noticed; and I’m not referring to just me and Chaeyoungie.”

“Does that mean my favourite Jennie sunbaenim also noticed my absence?” She couldn’t help but tease the older girl with her feigned ignorance. Everyone knew that she had an immense amount of respect for Jennie because of her vocals and rap skills. 

It took a few seconds for Miyeon to realise that she was joking. Then, Miyeon pouted and pounded her shoulder lightly while whining. Her fists were lighter than pillows so if anything, Soyeon was just amused by her antics. 

“Aww, Soyeonie! That was mean....” 

The DJ giggled at how childish the senior looked at that moment. Miyeon always managed to lighten up her mood even when she wasn’t doing anything in particular. 

“I’m not asking you to spend all your time here, but Yuqi is trying to get to know you, and you seem to like her too, so why not give her a chance?”

Soyeon hummed, not wanting to give her an answer. 

“If I’m going to set you and your girlfriend up on a date then you owe me an iced chocolate.” 

“Technically we don’t need to be set up-“ Miyeon looked at her incredulous face and burst into a fit of laughter. “You look so cute right now.” 

She frowned even more. “I’m not cute!” 

“Right now, you are.” 

Soyeon sighed. Miyeon would never stop calling her “cute” despite the amount of times she denied her allegations. She disliked that word. There was nothing cute about the way she looked. She didn't have pretty features, and just the thought of aegyo made her cringe. 

It was a word that felt so contradictory to her being that she couldn't fathom how anyone would even believe that she could fall within that definition. Perhaps that was why the senior made it her mission to use that word as many times as possible. Miyeon squealed as she ran over to pet her head again and smother her with affection, much to Soyeon’s disgust. 

“Ah excuse me...” Both heads whipped around to see Yuqi, looking awkward about interrupting them. 

“Yes?” They asked in unison. Miyeon made no effort to disentangle herself and Soyeon made no effort to move away either.

Yuqi pointed towards the radio booth. 

“The song break is about to end...?”

“Oh. Right.” Remembering their duties, the two girls broke apart and hurried back to their positions, but not before Miyeon mouthed the words “Just think about it, okay?” to her. 

As if she would be able to avoid thinking about it. 

~~~~

“Unnie, have you been reading the forums lately?” 

“No. It’s mostly filled with gossip.” Soyeon shifted the papers in her hand and connected her earphones so she could hear her friend clearly. Why? Should I be reading them?”

“No........ but your show has been mentioned a few times now.” The girl on the other end of the line trailed off. “Well, more like your name in particular.” 

“Go on, Eunbin-ah. I’m listening.” Adjusting her bag, Soyeon leaned against the back wall of the library. She kept her voice low, so as to not attract unwanted attention. She was supposed to be studying, but on the way there, she had received a call from her junior. She hadn’t spoken to Eunbin since her mid-term period started. The younger girl had also been actively involved in a few club activities as well, which left them very few opportunities to meet in person. 

“Uh... You and your co-host, are you guys close? It’s Yuqi-ssi, right?”

Soyeon nodded before remembering that the other girl couldn’t actually see her. 

“We’re...” Were they friends? The freshman had recently hugged and addressed her without honorifics. As Yuqi was younger, it was considered very causal to address her so forwardly. That was mostly reserved for close friends, or lovers. That being said, Yuqi definitely didn’t have the same mindset. She was also affectionate with everyone, so she felt that it was safe to assume that they could be called slightly more than acquaintances, but she wouldn’t exactly define them as friends. “Friendly.” 

“Wow.” Eunbin stated bluntly. “Okay, that’s not vague at all, unnie. I mean, from the comments...” 

Soyeon frowned. Comments? 

She was used to people directing their criticisms and complaints at her, so much that she didn’t bother reading comments on forums or platforms anymore. She had people calling to leave nasty comments or sexual innuendos, which were more irritating. 

As far as she was concerned, there would always be someone who didn’t agree with her actions or had something to say against her. Rather than waste her breath dealing with people who were already convinced that she was the villain in their story, she had more important things to deal with, like assignments, and song writing. She didn’t want to let their hurtful words affect her and ruin her hard work. 

However, it had slipped her mind to check on the freshman, because anyone associated with her would likely be taken notice of as well. She could dodge the bullets with relative and practiced ease. She wasn’t so sure about the bright eyed freshman who had taken up residence in the seat next to her. 

“What are they saying about her? How bad is it? Do we need to do something about it?” There was a hearty chuckle from the younger girl.

“Ah, that’s more like what I expected.” Soyeon rolled her eyes. “To answer your second question, it’s nothing bad exactly, but if you want to do something about it, you can.” 

“So they are talking about her?” 

“More like both of you...together.” 

“Together? Is that a code for something nowadays?” Soyeon asked. They were hosting the show together, after all. It wouldn't be a surprise if their names were mentioned together. 

Eunbin giggled as if she knew something that Soyeon didn’t. “Ah, I forgot how innocent you are, unnie. Remember how in camp you didn’t understand some of the raps and you had to search up the meanings online because none of us would tell you?”

“My eyes and brain were scarred by that, by the way. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to think of toffee the same way again.” 

“Toffee? Oh, because it’s stic-“ 

“Don’t say it, Kwon Eunbin.” She warned sternly.

“It’s an icky feeling, isn’t it?” 

“Ugh!” She groaned, much to her friend’s amusement. “I’ve had to perform much worse songs than that.” 

“But that’s still the one song that gets you to react like this.” She laughed. She was never letting it go, not that Soyeon would actually do anything about it. 

She heard someone call out Eunbin’s name over the line. Then, the junior was apologising for having to rush off to class and saying that she’ll contact her again soon.

This time, Soyeon found that her usual table was already occupied. It was none other than Soojin, the girl who had asked to share her table previously. She was more or less sure that the other girl wouldn’t dismiss her if she were to ask for the favour to be returned. 

Hence, Soyeon walked up to where she was sitting and waved to catch her attention. 

“Hello, Soojin-ssi.” The other girl smiled sweetly and returned her greeting. Without hesitation, the blonde moved her books to make room for the DJ to sit down beside her. 

“I realised that you weren’t here yet, and I wanted to let you know that I saved you a seat, but I realised I didn’t have your contact.” The TA said shyly. “I was thinking about it, but it would be weird to communicate that to you via email right?”

Soyeon took out her phone and added Soojin on KakaoTalk. Frankly, it was a relief to know that she wasn’t the only one who became socially awkward during situations like this. Soojin seemed to be an introvert like her, which made her the ideal person for her to get along with. She sent Soojin a lion emoji after her friend request was accepted, and she saw the other girl light up as she sent another emoji in return.

”Are you studying alone today or is your friend from last time coming?” She asked, putting her phone away. 

“Ah, she’s having a class right now. She’ll only be joining me after her lecture.” Soojin explained softly. “Which is a good thing, because I can actually get some work done.” 

“Too distracting?” 

“Too noisy.” Soojin corrected, despite her snickering which conveyed her less than serious outlook. “If it was up to her, she’d skip class just to meet me. It’s nice to be alone sometimes though, but don’t tell her I said that.”

“Even if I meet her one day, I won’t.” Soyeon promised. The more she spoke with Soojin, the more she felt that they were kindred spirits. There was an easy flow of conversation that flowed back and forth between them. She couldn’t be more thankful that the other girl decided to summon up her confidence and approach her the other day. 

She wasn’t usually this forthcoming but somehow Soojin’s presence encouraged her to open up about herself. So, she did. Soojin listened to her stories about her own friends who were way more extroverted, and shared her own as well. Apparently, Soojin was also the quiet one amongst her group. She only spoke when she had something to say, or when she wanted to tease someone. Her experiences resonated with her since she too, felt like had nothing much to contribute, in a circle of extroverts. 

Although it did occur to Soyeon that Soojin’s friends and hers would actually get along pretty well if they were introduced, she hadn’t really thought that far into the future yet. Perhaps someday, they would be introduced.

After bidding her newfound confidante goodbye, Soyeon realised that she hadn’t thought about checking the forums at all, even though it had been on the forefront of her mind before she went into the library. Instead, she made her way towards the station with a slight spring in her step.

~~~ 

Approving Minnie’s visit to the studio was easily the best and worst decision she’d made in her career so far. The good news was, the visit went a lot better than she had initially expected. The bad news was that 

The introduction was rather awkward because out of everyone, she had been the only one, other than Chaeyoung, who didn’t any personal relationship with Minnie. Miyeon has been nearly buzzing out of her seat in anticipation, blaming the iced americano she held in her hand, but Soyeon didn’t believe her for a second. 

Miyeon honestly didn’t have to worry so much when it was Soyeon who should be worried about living up to expectations. She had nearly panicked when she heard a high and mellow voice trail after Yuqi’s boisterous voice. 

Despite her worry, it was good to finally reconcile her idea of Miyeon’s girlfriend with a physical person, because the entire time, she had been listening to stories about her without being able to put a face and voice to her name. 

She had greeted Minnie politely with a bow. She didn’t think she would be calling a freshman “unnie”, but despite her school rank, Minnie was older than her by age and she wanted to show her some respect. Minnie had spoken softly at first, telling her that she really respected her, and Soyeon replied that she had a great amount of respect for her too, considering she had to deal with both Yuqi and Miyeon on a daily basis. The reverberating laugh came out of nowhere and Soyeon found that her glee was rather infectious. Yuqi rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded like “this was a mistake”. 

She expected the other girl to stick to her friend or girlfriend since they were the obvious choices for company within her comfort zone. However, the newcomer did the opposite and struck up conversation with her, every chance she got. Soyeon was more surprised to realise she didn’t actually mind the amount of questions she had. 

Within half an hour, she was already sold on the cheerful and sweet girl. 

Why hadn’t Minnie been the one to call her instead? The thought popped into her head once, but she knew that if it had been Minnie on the other end of the line, she wouldn’t have given it a second thought. 

Minnie was respectful and eager to learn about her process with music and her song mixes as a DJ. Minnie was clearly a bigger and more dedicated fan as compared to her actual co-host, ironically. Hence, when the freshman started peppering her with comments on her raps and quoting her own lyrics, she was almost certain that she would end up becoming friends with her. 

She had even offered to let Minnie try one of her demos that she was working on, since the other girl was a rather esteemed vocalist, according to Miyeon. Needless to say, their guest had been ecstatic to accept her offer and put on the headphones. She caught Miyeon’s proud gaze a couple of times, whether it was directed at her or Minnie, she didn’t know. 

They ended up exchanging numbers by the end of the day, much to Yuqi’s shock. Soyeon would never forget her co-host’s expression when Minnie gave her a big hug before the two of them left for dinner after the broadcast ended. 

The look of betrayal on Yuqi’s face was so eminent that she was almost fearful for Minnie’s safety. She struggled to maintain her professional composure and not stick out her tongue to tease the younger girl. She couldn’t help it. Whenever she saw Yuqi’s annoyed expression, it was like a challenge to crack the younger girl’s mask and make her realise that she wasn’t really angry. She had a ton of ideas of what to do or say at that moment.

Instead, she held back and gave them a friendly wave, even though Yuqi continued glaring at her. 

Since then, it was as if the dynamics of Soyeon’s circles had shifted slightly. 

She still studied in the library with Soojin, but she didn’t need the respite as much as before. As it turned out, she realised that perhaps, what she needed was a friend who understood her. 

When things got busy, Soojin was the only person outside of the studio whom she interacted with. She hadn’t expected to find someone who was even more shy and introverted than she was. Yet, Soojin seemed to be exactly that. 

The blonde seemed to understand what she needed without her saying a word. She had sent her a sad lion emoji once, and Soojin replied with the address of a campus cafe and a time. She always listened without judgment and never pressured her for more details. Although she was older by months, Soojin gave off a nurturing aura that made Soyeon feel comfortable asking her for advice. 

Over time, she got to know her course mate better as well. She found out that Soojin had a girlfriend; a freshman who was the complete opposite of her. She likened her to an excited puppy who was overly attached but she was cute in her own way. Soyeon briefly thought back to the girl who ran past her in the library the other day, and wondered if there was a connection between her and her friend. 

Soyeon also learned that Soojin was raising two puppies, named Haku and Mata, which she adored dearly. She offered to introduce her puppies, literally and figuratively, to her someday.

Soyeon was genuinely touched by her offer. She had loved playing with her family’s dog as a child, but when she started having allergic reactions as a result of the fur, her family had to give the dog away. She remembered crying uncontrollably for a few days because she was so sad. Then, one day, her parents bought her a stuffed dog and said that it would keep her company until she grew up and dogs didn’t make her sneeze and cough anymore. Now that she was older, she kept a pack of anti-histamines in her bag. They kept the allergies at bay, and they allowed her to interact with dogs for short periods of time. 

When the exam period ended, assignment and project weeks started. Soojin and her met up every week for a drink before their shared class, but she needed to spend more time polishing up her music. She hadn’t even recorded the demo yet. Hence, Soyeon found herself spending less time in the library and more breaks sitting around the campus field.

The field was most commonly known as the biggest open space on campus. It was like a mini park within their college radius, big enough for people to hold sports practices in groups, and spacious enough for people to sit around without crossing paths with other people. Most of the time, it was filled with students who wanted to get a break from classes.

For someone like Soyeon, it was especially suitable for her to blast music in her headphones without worrying about disturbing someone. It was a good place for her to empty her mind and take a breather, in between her busy schedules. Unsurprisingly, she found herself coming up with more lyrics and chords and eventually formed the backbone of one of the songs she was working on. 

The initial melody was already catchy and powerful but she needed something different, something unusual to set the song apart from all the other submissions. She needed- 

She paused in her writing when she realised that something was blocking part of the breeze and casting her in a partial shadow. She noticed the sneakers and familiar sling bag that hung just within her line of vision. Soyeon waited for a beat, then another. 

It was definitely her, but why wasn’t the freshman saying anything? 

She had been standing in front of her for a while. Yuqi wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. Unless, she was waiting for her to say something first. Soyeon was too distracted to continue writing anyway. 

“If you plan to major in stalking, you’re not going to pass the exam.” She said dryly, hoping the freshman would catch on. 

Soyeon thought she saw her cheeks turn pink for a second, but she dismissed it as a trick of the light since her face was in shadow. Yuqi looked startled, but she sat down next to her when Soyeon moved her things. To her relief, the junior didn’t immediately start a conversation with her. In fact, most of the time was spent in quiet silence, which she appreciated. Yuqi seemed content to just remain beside her and fiddle with her phone. It was a change from the bubbly and opinionated girl she was used to interacting with in the studio. She still had a lot to learn about the junior who somehow managed to push her way into her life and make a home for herself while she was there. 

In the end, it was her who ended up starting a conversation. 

“So, how did you know I’d be here?” 

“I didn’t.” Yuqi replied, wiping off the grass stains on her legs with a wet tissue. Soyeon considered that. Wearing a skirt wasn’t exactly appropriate attire for sitting in a field. “But it’s hard to not notice or recognize you when I see you.” 

She didn’t know exactly what Yuqi meant by that, but it was answer that Soyeon could accept. So, she kept quiet and allowed the younger girl to lead her to the radio station. 

The next time she showed up, there was a small box of tangerines by her side. Soyeon had eyed them suspiciously until the freshman explained that her mother had sent them to her as a care package and she had too many to finish on her own. Whether she was telling the truth, Soyeon didn’t know. However, she could never hide her love for tangerines anyway. 

Between the two of them, the box was emptied before they even made it to the station. 

The following few instances where Yuqi “happened to be in the area” created a routine, and soon, the others in the station were no longer surprised when both of them showed up together. Only Miyeon teased her about it in private, but she could tell that Chaeyoung was itching to say something to her as well. 

It didn’t really bother her much. They could think however they wanted. Yuqi and her were hosting the show together. Despite their rocky beginning, they had to get closer at some point or their banter would get stagnant. 

At least, that was what she was telling herself. 

~~~

She knew that they were bound to have this conversation sooner or later. 

At the rate they were interacting, Yuqi was fast becoming someone important to her. It was already hard for her to deny the younger girl’s requests. She shuddered to think of how easily she would give in to her in future, if Yuqi continued to push past her walls. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but is there a reason for all this?” Soyeon glanced up from the equipment in her hands. She directed her best questioning look at Yuqi, or rather, as best as it could be, considering her arms were full.

“The whole DJ Jelly thing.” 

“What do you mean?” She asked. This sounded like it was going to become a longer conversation so she moved back to the table and put the equipment down. Yuqi looked at her apologetically but she shrugged and motioned for her to go on. 

“Well, Soyeon and DJ Jelly are very different. If Miyeon was the one in trouble, you wouldn’t say any of those things that you say on the show.” 

“Careful, you’re starting to sound terribly sure of yourself.” She said. It was partially deflection yet also in jest. After all, if Yuqi was really asking for the story, she would have to trust her to an extent. She liked Yuqi, but this would be something that altered their friendship. It was like finding out that one thing that turned someone from being just an everyday acquaintance into an actual friend, someone trustworthy and someone who knows and guards a piece of their identity. It was a turning point of commitment, where giving that bit of information is like trusting that the person is in it for the long run. 

In short, it wasn’t something that Soyeon would think lightly of. It was something she had been considering ever since the day Yuqi walked up to her in the field, or maybe before that. 

She made her decision. “Ah Soyeon...” Soyeon felt the light push against her shoulder as the younger girl nudged her, but she wasn’t in a hurry to move away and neither was she. She wasn’t sure when it started, but Yuqi’s presence had become something that brought her warmth and security. 

“Fine...” She wanted to sigh in mock resignation, but she couldn’t do it, not after seeing how happy Yuqi looked when she agreed. She turned away from the eager freshman and began her story.“One of my music assessments last year was to create a music product that exhibited myself.” 

“Product?” Yuqi cut in, temporarily disrupting Soyeon’s musing. “Like a track?”

“That’s what I asked the lecturer too; but he said that it was completely up to us to define ourselves.” 

“I was stuck for a long time because I didn’t really know what I wanted to do as a musician. I liked rapping, I could sing, I could probably put together a dance if I had to... All I knew for sure was that I wanted to do something that I enjoyed, and I didn’t want to limit myself.” The DJ paused and looked over at Yuqi, almost surprised that the younger girl was still listening. 

“Somewhere along the line, I needed a studio but all of them were booked by the fourth years. I must have looked rather desperate because I was finally directed here by an upperclassman.” Soyeon tilted her head. That was the day she got to know Miyeon. Miyeon was one of the committee members on duty, so Soyeon often encountered her when she was searching for a room. Miyeon always looked so guilty when she reported that the rooms were all pre-booked by seniors. After repeatedly going to the registry and failing to get a room allocation, she would end up putting on headphones and trying to work on her own outside. The third time she sat outside and attempted to compose using a computer software, the gentle senior approached her with a key and a school layout in hand. Despite how they began, she wouldn’t have gone about it in any other way because she had gained one of her closest friends from it. 

She turned to Yuqi to add a side note before continuing. “It was Miyeon, by the way.” 

If Yuqi was trying to conceal her surprise, she failed badly. She could almost see the wheels in the younger girl’s head turn as she tried to figure out the connections. It was a good thing Yuqi didn’t realise how cute she was. It made Soyeon wonder how much of their past Miyeon revealed to her. She knew that they had become friends, especially since Yuqi’s best friend was also Miyeon’s girlfriend. Hence, part of her was curious as to how close her and Miyeon had actually become as of late, but she shrugged it off as something she would find out eventually. 

“This place used to belong to a radio club which disbanded a couple of years back, but the room and equipment were said to function just fine. Cut to a few days later when I was playing around with the mixer, and I realised I didn’t have to limit myself by picking one topic when I could do all of them, and then some.”

“So the Idle Radio show was your project?” She thought about the word. Despite how it began, she wouldn’t have used to word ‘project’ to describe it anymore. She shook her head. “Not exactly. I submitted my application and got accepted, but my show got cancelled after 3 weeks.” 

“What?!” Yuqi’s sunny disposition changed into one of outrage. She looked genuinely upset and despite the fact that it no longer affected her as much anymore, Soyeon felt happy that she could get so worked up. The outburst on her behalf was sweet, even if it wasn’t necessary. It was in the past. 

Soyeon smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. That had been a difficult time. It was a painful failure, but she had to experience it in order to grow. It was because of that, that she ended up fighting even harder to succeed. 

“Why would they cancel your show when it was a graded assessment?” 

Soyeon tapped her pen against the side of the table. The comments and criticisms were not things she had been prepared to handle. She recalled curling up into a ball, hidden by the shadows of the river bank, trying to quieten her sobs and prevent herself from having a full blown panic attack when she first experienced the worst of the hate comments. It felt like someone was dragging her down underwater bit by bit, clawing at her insides and tearing what was left of her into shreds. She hadn’t realised that she was gasping for breath until she felt someone touch her shoulder. 

It had been a middle aged woman out for an evening jog. Her hair was tied back and she looked rather annoyed when she asked if she needed to call an ambulance. Her expression left no doubt that she thought Soyeon was a rebellious child who had run away from home. 

Startled, Soyeon immediately wiped her tears in shame and apologised for disturbing her run. The lady shrugged and continued, leaving Soyeon alone with her thoughts once more. Soyeon remembered the wind drying her tears, until the only evidence of her breakdown was the coldness of her cheeks. Her eyes were dry and her breaths were steady. 

The interruption reminded her that there was a world around her that would continue turning. Whoever that woman was, she would just be a nameless teenager who made her halt in the middle of her run. Other than a side comment or story for her to tell, she wouldn't exist in that woman’s life. With or without her presence, other people’s lives would still move forward. The universe was bigger than the tiny screens that people on the internet lived by, and more complex than the anonymous usernames that people hid behind when they left hateful comments. 

She didn’t want to succeed out of spite. She wanted to make music. She did it out of interest, passion and love for it. Creating and piecing all the elements together, coming up with ways to turn what was in her head into lyrics on a page or notes on a manuscript and actually being satisfied with the outcome, that was why she even pursued music to begin with.

She had stared at the mass of water that was gushing past her, unbothered by the city that was humming around it. It just continued on its path, smoothening and widening the river bed. That was when she made a promise to herself. As long as she was in the industry, she wouldn’t allow someone’s hatred to cloud her vision and ruin her love for the craft of making music. 

But that wasn’t the story Yuqi was asking for. 

“Well, they couldn’t grade a radio show that flopped. I would have failed the assessment scope instantly. On top of that, they received comments that I was boring, and that my voice was irritating. My remixes alone weren’t catchy enough to retain an audience.” 

Her voice was level. She’d recounted this story a couple of times to different people. Somehow, after running the same storyline through her head, the pain had dulled until she didn’t feel anything. She’d read the comments. She couldn’t really argue with someone’s personal opinion, especially not when it was shared by an overwhelming number of people. At that point, she felt Yuqi cover her hand with her own. It wasn’t the first time they had touched one another, but she hadn’t really allowed herself to be vulnerable or take comfort from her. The reassuring squeeze on her hand reminded her that she wasn’t alone with her thoughts. Her actions felt almost imploring, as if she was pleading with Soyeon to trust that she would be able to handle it, handle her. Soyeon considered it. 

Could she, really?

Quite a bit of time must have passed, because it only registered to her that Yuqi was still stroking her hand, when she had to supress a shiver. Before she could pull her hand away, the younger girl spoke. “You don’t have to continue unnie...” 

“It’s alright. There’s not much left to tell.” 

It’s okay, I want you to know. I trust you. 

Those were the words that Soyeon wanted to say, but she couldn’t muster up the courage to utter them out loud. It was ironic. She might be a song writer and composer, but she couldn't string words together in person to convey her feelings. Instead, she flipped her hand over and linked their fingers together. It probably wasn't enough, but she hoped that her sincerity would be at least partly conveyed somehow. She may not be able to say the exact words, but by sharing more about herself, she could show her that she was trying. 

“I composed, produced and recorded three songs for my final project; all different genres but they exhibited different sides of me.” 

It sounded simple and uncomplicated, but it was far from that. Composing, writing, and producing a song was challenging on many fronts, so not many people would venture into one, let alone attempt all three, without years of experience. Still, the entire process of creating and perfecting a song was tedious and boring. She normally would not want to go into that much detail unless the other party was interested in song writing. 

She thought back to the time when she received her first evaluation. She had just come to terms with her own abilities at that point of time. Fresh from high school, she lacked musical experience. All she had was sincerity, passion and emotions. It wasn’t enough. 

She had fallen short of being desperate enough to beg for a better grade but she had still been rather demoralised. At some point during the process, she asked herself if she was really ready to dedicate her entire life to this industry. Despite how much criticism, hate, and unwelcome spotlight that she and anyone associated with her would have to endure. After thinking about it for a long time, she surprised herself and her parents by answering in the affirmative. Since then, she never gave herself a chance to regret making that decision. 

After the night at the river, she packed her bag and locked herself in a room for weeks. Working day and night, she only took breaks when it was essential. She decided to keep the first song, despite the feedback. Looking through her notes, she realised that instead of considering it a failure, she would use it to complement the other tracks. 

Each song expressed a part of herself. 

‘Jelly’ was honest. It was high energy, cute, sweet and everything she dreamed that falling in love would be. She wrote the lyrics with her heart. She had taken parts of old song lyrics that she had written years ago and combined them with energised beats and rhythm to represent the excitement of realising one’s feelings. She had liked the idea of writing a song for herself, and turning it into a project. It was innocent and pure, a little bit naïve, and a bit too much like herself. That was exactly why it failed. 

She would only understand after her professor told her frankly that if this is what she thought love was, she didn’t understand love or music at all. She had taken the words to heart. He wasn't wrong. She had written the lyrics at a time before she even figured out the depth of what having feelings for someone entailed. Hearing that comment directly from someone hurt, but that was what drove her to write her second song. 

‘Idle Song’ was a conundrum. She had taken the feedback and changed her focus to the contradictions of love instead. She maintained the positive whimsical style from ‘Jelly’, but the message and implications were anything but. On one hand, she wanted the lyrics to portray the messy and complicated state that love could end up in. On the other, she used repetitive beats and phrases to convey the toxic cycle of a failing relationship, to the point where love, as it was, became an idle promise. 

She had gleamed through a mass of teenage dramas, a part of her childhood which she had happily not taken part in. She much preferred her anime serials over backstabbing and cheating teenagers who just wanted to start unnecessary fights. After the third season of watching the main characters date one another, break up and get back together, she penned down strings of sentences that turned into a mantra and became the chorus. 

By the time she came up with the starting notes for ‘Latata’, she felt that something about her outlook had changed. The last song was different. There was something about it that seemed less “Jeon Soyeon”, the playful girl who just wanted to chase her dreams, and it was the emergence of “Soyeon” the aspiring songwriter, music artist and music producer. Everything, from her production skills to her performance skills had to be conveyed, within a four minute time frame. 

She did it in three minutes and twenty three seconds. 

‘Latata’ was everything she had tried and failed to achieve before. 

It was also about love, but this time, there was no mistaking the possessiveness and suggestive tone in the lyrics. It was powerful enough to catch a listener’s attention within the first thirty seconds. She used the imagery of singing and dancing to convey indulgence and passion, along with the idea of pouring out all of one’s emotion and energy into something that may not last forever. That was what love was, to burn as long and as passionately as it possibly could, all for a chance of being immortalised in someone’s memory.

She remembered the look on the professor’s face when he played the last demo track she had on the ordinary CD she submitted. That was something she wished she could have burned into the CD memory too. 

That was a long time ago. Although that first CD had been preserved and kept as a memento by the senior. It was very simple and plain, with only her name and class number written on the label. Yet, it was something she would always treasure. 

“But you came back to do the radio show even after all that?” Soyeon turned, slightly disoriented as she tried to remind herself that quite a bit of time had passed since she had last spoken. There were a lot of things she left unsaid, and Yuqi probably knew that. 

She would tell her someday. Maybe. When she was ready. For now, she was content with enjoying the slight giddiness she felt when Yuqi was directing her attention and smile at her. 

“I did. As it turned out, as much as people didn’t like hearing advice from Jeon Soyeon, they really liked having DJ Jelly dish out opinionated comments about their lives.” 

The people who sent her hate comments as if they were tiny stones being flung at a glass house, were also the same people who cheered whenever she exercised sarcasm and wit when dealing with callers. It was as if being mean was to be applauded. At times she wondered if she should have taken psychology as a minor, because her entire career as a radio DJ could have been used as a psychology experiment, as ridiculous as it sounded. 

“Well my opinion may not matter now, but I’d pick listening to Jeon Soyeon over DJ Jelly any day.”

Soyeon couldn’t resist the bubbling laughter that had her nearly doubling over. Yuqi looked so serious for a moment, and she didn’t really know how else to react. There wasn’t really a need for her to be so protective. Soyeon had already learned how to handle herself and negativity. However, hearing the words directly from the freshman’s lips made her heart feel warm. 

“Aigoo Yuqi-ah, you’re too cute sometimes. Thank you for listening, but it really doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.” She leaned forward and poked her cheek affectionately. She was surprised to realise that she genuinely meant what she said. Even if it had affected her mindset and probably her self confidence to some extent, it didn’t really bother her as much anymore. 

The freshman who spent most of her time struggling to find the inspiration and confidence to express her thoughts through lyrics and melodies, had grown up in some way. Now, she had purpose, direction and motivation to continue pursuing her dreams. To top it off, she had friends who cared about and accepted her, both as DJ Jelly and as Jeon Soyeon. 

That was what mattered; that was enough for her.

She hadn’t realised how close her and Yuqi were sitting, until their foreheads nearly collided when they sprung apart. 

“I was going to ask if you’re about ready to head out, but it seems like you’re... occupied.” Miyeon’s smile radiated pure evil and Soyeon scowled at her, irritated but unsure of the reason for her feelings. 

“No,” The DJ cleated her throat and stood. “You’re done?”

“Mm hmm... but I can wait if you’re going to need more time.” She continued grinning, mischief apparent in her eyes. 

“That won’t be necessary.” Soyeon said sharply. She turned to the younger girl who seemed to have lost her voice, and directly her words to her. 

“See you around, Yuqi-ah.” She called out softly. The younger girl seemed lost in her thoughts so she traced a short and tentative trail over Yuqi’s skin, to get her attention. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. When was the last time she had spoken so gently? 

Soyeon shook her head free of doubts and continued, not wanting to give Miyeon more reason to tease her. She glanced at the time and figured that Miyeon was probably going to grab something light, or they would order in and have a girls’ night, since the senior was supposed to be meeting Minnie during the weekend. 

“Have a good weekend and be careful on your way home.” 

Yuqi nodded. Their eyes met and Soyeon smiled at her as she left the room. 

~~~

Soyeon had a bad feeling about the whole idea the moment Minnie suggested it. 

She realised that perhaps after getting to know this girl, Minnie was someone who would grab an idea and run with it. If anything, she was probably even more cheesy than her co-host. It was understandable why Yuqi had gotten so worried about her. She was actually worried for Miyeon’s sanity. Ever since the Super Junior request, Miyeon had started testing out pick-up lines to combat Minnie’s attempts at flirtation. They were so bad and cringey that she wanted to create an entire segment to poke fun at them.

Who would even think that saying “I’m Sorry Sorry that I’m not Mr. Simple, but you’re the Magic in my life” was a remotely good idea? She almost preferred the “Seoul-mate” pick-up lines that she had heard before, even though anything remotely cheesey made her want to gag. 

She had already allowed the two older girls to drag her out for dinner instead of staying in her room and catching up on the latest One Piece anime season like she had originally planned to do. She had been waiting for the latest arc to be completed before she started on it. Finally, after months of waiting, she was ready to watch it. However, before the download was completed, there was a knock at her door. Miyeon and Minnie burst in and promptly announced that she would be joining them for a girls’ night out. 

At first, Minnie had told her that Yuqi was meeting them at the restaurant, and she didn’t want to be a third wheel. Out of the goodness of her heart, she conceded and apologised to her computer that was still struggling to download the episodes. However, as they were leaving, Yuqi apparently messaged Minnie and cancelled on them because she wasn’t feeling well. Soyeon had argued that she didn’t want to intrude on their date, but they didn’t accept her backing out. Instead, Minnie said that the plans had been changed to cheering Yuqi up after dinner. She’d already dressed up, so she decided to go along with it reluctantly. Although, she had to admit that despite her protests about being a third wheel, neither girl had given her a chance to feel left out over the entire course of the evening. 

Still, it was a Saturday night, they shouldn’t be trespassing and barging into Yuqi’s dorm uninvited. She wouldn’t even do that to Miyeon.

Yuqi could have had friends over, or a date. Although she didn’t want to entertain the latter thought. Especially not when she had been forcefully dressed into a black dress which, affording to Minnie and Miyeon, would show off her figure, and poised directly in front of the door with her hand raised. She felt like a sacrificial lamb, except she was far from a sheep. 

She glanced to the corner where the couple was hiding indiscreetly. They looked so suspicious. If any student were to open their doors at that moment, all of them would be in trouble. 

This is a terrible idea, she repeated in her head. 

“Just do it! We’re right here!” Miyeon called out in a hushed voice. 

“Yes, we’ll back you up, don’t worry!” Minnie chimed in. 

It didn’t help, but she felt the wooden door scrape against her knuckles as she knocked softly. 

“That wasn’t a knock, that was an accident!” She turned to glare at whichever one of them said that. 

“If you’re not satisfied, do it yourself!” She hissed back. In a flash, Minnie was by her side, rapping against the door in her own rhythmic fashion. 

“What if she’s not home?” 

“Are you kidding me? It’s Yuqi. Of course, she’s home.” Minnie’s laugh was fleeting, but her confidence was steadfast and it was all Soyeon had to rely on, so she did. 

There was a cluttered noise before she heard heavy stomping that got louder with each step nearer to the door. Unconsciously, she took a step back, only to find that Miyeon had been standing right behind her, a solid force that prevented her from escaping. 

When did she get so strong? Soyeon wondered to herself. It must have been all the cables she carried back and forth. 

The footsteps stopped right in front of the door. Yuqi was listening, probably. It was as if Minnie read her mind, because the next thing she knew, the taller brunette was yelling at the door. “Song Yuqi, open up loser!” 

The door seemingly burst open, causing her to jerk back against Miyeon’s hold. However, Minnie didn’t even flinch. She either had nerves of steel or she was too used to this kind of behaviour. Both were causes for concern. However, they weren’t as concerning as the stormy expression on Yuqi’s face. 

Soyeon hadn’t really seen Yuqi when she was angry but she assumed this was pretty close. However, it vanished when Yuqi’s gaze fell upon her. “Ah-hi?” 

The freshman leaned against the door, looking just a bit embarrassed, but not displeased, and Soyeon felt the pressure against her heart lift a bit. 

“Hi......” She bit her lip. Yuqi was wearing her pyjamas. She probably didn’t have any guests over, unless they were having a pyjama party. Still, it didn’t hurt to ask. 

“Is this a bad time?” 

“Nonsense! This girl had no plans anyway.” As if they needed a reminder that she was present, Minnie thrust all the drinks and snacks they had carried over into Yuqi’s arms and the weight threw the startled freshman a few steps back. The newly created space between her and door frame allowed Miyeon and her entry. However, Soyeon stayed put, her eyes trained on the unsuspecting host. 

Soyeon felt guilty for intruding, and it was her first time coming to Yuqi’s dorm. It was only polite to wait for her to be granted permission before she went in. Her parents raised her that way.

She also didn’t miss the way the freshman gave her outfit a once-over. It was definitely a different choice of clothes as compared to what she would usually wear. Hence, she expected to be asked about the occasion that warranted her attire, but instead, Yuqi just shot her question bluntly. “What happened to your date?” 

Wait, what?

“What date?” She asked. The younger girl frowned, looking at her rather suspiciously. “But Minnie-“ 

“Yuqi-ah! Stop flirting with Soyeon unnie and let her in.” 

“I’m not- I haven’t even-“ Yuqi looked so exasperated that Soyeon felt sorry for her. It was an amusing sight; she probably had yet to process everything that had just happened within the last 2 minutes. She hid her snicker behind her hand but Yuqi gave her a smile that made her realise that she wasn’t really upset.

“Unnie, please come in before they start using their imaginations.” She stepped aside, as if allowing her to enter; but it looked more like Yuqi shuffling the bags and trying not to drop any of them. She stretched out her hands to offer to hold some of the bags, but Yuqi shook her head and signalled for her to go ahead. “Okay, sorry for the intrusion.” 

“No we’re not. She should be thanking us for intruding.” Again, Minnie called out from inside. The DJ made her way into the room where the other two had already made themselves comfortable. Sprawled over what she presumed was Yuqi’s bed, Minnie looked as though she was the one who lived there. Miyeon was perched comfortably on the edge of the bed, but her posture was also relaxed. 

There was a silent conversation between Miyeon and Minnie as Soyeon approached them, Yuqi following behind. A few seconds later, Minnie spoke in a pitiful voice. “Aww unnie, we got here too late, she was already halfway done with the first tub of ice cream.” 

The ice cream in Minnie’s hand was already partially melted, so it was painfully obvious that it had been sitting outside for a while. Soyeon turned to their host, who seemed to need a moment to collect herself. The Thai girl shook her head and covered the tub before it could melt even further in front of them. She brought the tub, as well as a fuming Yuqi to the kitchen, and called out to them to pick a movie. 

They were probably going to take a while. Minnie probably had some explaining to do. 

Miyeon seemed to sense her apprehension, because she shifted towards the middle of the bed and glanced to the spot next to her. 

“Are you feeling okay?” She whispered. Miyeon’s strong and warm grip on her hand soothed her worries. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and nodded, returning Miyeon’s squeeze. She was glad that it was one of her closest unnies by her side, or she would have probably never gone along with something like this. 

“It’s okay to be nervous, but Minnie knows Yuqi well.” Soyeon had to agree. Considering the lengths that Yuqi had gone to seek revenge for her friend, she trusted that they would have their own ways of dealing with situations. 

“And if it doesn’t work out, there’s always alcohol to act as a conversation starter.” The fourth year pointed towards the kitchen flippantly. Soyeon gave her a disbelieving stare. For someone who couldn't handle alcohol, she was very intent on consuming it. 

“Unnie, do you not remember what happened the last few times we drank?” Her stare dared Miyeon to refute her claim. The older girl acquiesced. 

“It wasn’t that much...” She tried to add, but put up her hands in surrender when Soyeon narrowed her eyes at her again. This was something she couldn’t argue with. Not after what Soyeon had gone through to bring her home.

“Yes, it wasn’t that much, but you were able to laugh so hard that you were gasping for breath.” Soyeon reminded her. “I can’t imagine what people would have thought if we weren’t in a coin karaoke booth.”

“Most of the customers at the time were drunk anyway.” Miyeon tried to defend, but she couldn’t hide her blush. Soyeon shrugged. Thankfully, they hadn’t been too ambitious; they had simply ordered a bottle each to get them in the mood for karaoke, or she would not have been nearly as coherent. 

Soyeon remembered hauling a giggling Miyeon down the narrow and sticky staircase and onto the street, past the bars with servers yelling out to potential customers, avoiding any drunken passer-by’s, until they made it to the station. She wasn't wrong. Everyone had been drunk, but Miyeon was blissfully unaware of the fear driven adrenaline that powered Soyeon to pull her safely through the crowd. 

Soyeon wished she had taken more pictures for evidence, but she was more concerned with making sure she didn’t knock the taller girl’s limbs against the corners. There was something dangerous about the way Seoul became once all the patrons got drunk, and inhibitions disappeared due to alcohol.

The older girl had decidedly forgotten most of what happened after the first few soju shots. Soyeon wasn’t as lucky. She finished hers as well as the remaining soju that Miyeon was too tipsy to drink. She was lightly buzzed but she could still think and walk, unlike her senior. 

Altogether, it was an unexpected situation for her to be in. Especially since at the time, the two of them weren’t particularly close. Miyeon was just the kind senior who suggested for her to use the studio, and came by semi regularly to use the place to study. Other than small talk and menial conversations about school, they mostly did their own work and didn’t bother one another. 

However, after this particular incident, it was as if she had passed some sort of test, because there was a distinctive difference in the level of familiarity that Miyeon treated her with. Despite her position and talents, the senior didn't have many close friends, she realised. So, they naturally became rather close. Miyeon’s laughs were less restrained, her jabs were more purposeful, and the younger girl found herself on the receiving end of her hugs. 

She wouldn’t have done anything differently, but the incident made her more wary of Miyeon’s tolerance to alcohol. However, the older girl seemed quite determined to follow through with the plans and she had Minnie, so they should be fine. At least, that was what Soyeon was hoping. 

Miyeon wanted a double date; Minnie wanted to cheer up her best friend. Soyeon, however, just wanted to survive the night without mishap.

Was that too much to ask?

~~~

Apparently, the answer to her question was “Yes”. 

Minnie’s eyes widened when a giggle spurted from Miyeon. 

She shot Soyeon and Yuqi a glance, which Soyeon shrugged in response to. The two freshman tried to stifle their laughter, but Yuqi was more successful than Minnie. Miyeon drunkenly shushed her and placed a finger over her lips. She didn’t realise that Minnie’s silence was more due to shock than compliance. However, the latter kept her mouth shut, despite the redness colouring her cheeks. Soyeon took a sip from her own bottle without comment. She already knew what would happen once Miyeon drank. 

Minnie had to bite down on her lip to keep herself from laughing at Miyeon again. As the night went on, the movie kept getting more funny, only to Miyeon. Until it came to a point where they couldn’t get past a 3 minute mark without her bursting into unrestrained laughter. 

When the main character’s partner was killed saving them in the climax of the movie, and Miyeon still managed to crack up, Minnie asked to stop the movie, citing the reason that her eyes were tired. Everyone but Miyeon knew better.

The uncapped bottles and empty bags of chips left on the floor irked her. She didn’t like leaving a mess in someone else’s room. Her own, though, was another story. 

Seeing as she was the most sober out of everyone in the room, she gathered up the bottles and bundled them in her arms. Minnie was still directing words in English and Korean, and some Thai, towards Yuqi. She didn’t even blink when Soyeon removed the empty bottles from the table in front of her. 

She made her way to what she supposed was the kitchen and rinsed them for recycling. The movement and water hitting her hands helped her to concentrate and sober up a little. At the end of it, the alcohol hadn’t really helped the situation. Yuqi and her hadn’t really interacted much, unlike what Miyeon and Minnie had probably planned. She knew that the girls meant them no disbenefit; adding alcohol was always a risk, but now she knew that the younger girl’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t as high as hers. She would have to watch Yuqi’s limit as well, if this were to happen again. She couldn't believe she was actually thinking of doing this again. 

Soyeon looked down at the glass she was scrubbing. She was partly surprised at how thorough she was being. Maybe alcohol made her perfectionist side come out even more. By the time she was done, the wrappers and rubbish were tied up in bags, which were neatly left in the corner of the trash bin. She told herself that she would throw it on her way out if she remembered to bring them with her. 

She returned to the group, wondering if anyone was sober enough to notice her disappearance. Although after remembering the state that she left them in, she deduced that it was a foolish assumption to make. She brought a glass of water with her in case one of them needed to sober up.

Now that there were less distractions, Soyeon peered at the couple lying in front of her. From what she could tell, the older girl had drunk slightly more than what she had consumed the previous time. Miyeon’s flushed cheeks were a deep contrast to her fair skin. She was already half sprawled over Minnie, and the latter was lying on her belly and cuddling a pillow under her chin. Minnie was still talking, presumably to her and Yuqi, but Miyeon had been reduced to incoherent mumbles a while back. Unbeknownst to Minnie, however, Yuqi seemed to have fallen asleep sitting upright. 

She must have been knocked out by the ice cream and alcohol, Soyeon assumed. That was always a bad combo. In fact, she was surprised Yuqi hadn’t made a trip to the washroom throughout their attempt to watch the movie. Her stomach was probably made of steel. 

Her brain faintly registered that Minnie was still talking, when the other girl poked her arm petulantly. Minnie seemed to be asking for her opinion, so she nodded in agreement to whatever she was saying, and the freshman was placated enough to prattle on. 

Minnie definitely wasn’t sober enough to be paying attention to her surroundings, so Soyeon was free to watch her co-host’s expression as she slept. Yuqi was cuddling a stuffed giraffe to her chest; her chin resting on the head of the stuffed toy. Her brown hair hung over her shoulders like a pair of curtains framing the sides of her cheeks. Without the smirk and childish remarks, Yuqi looked almost enchantingly angelic. 

The DJ looked at her phone screen. She wondered if the campus buses would still be running since it was a Saturday evening. She didn’t bother trying to wake the fourth year. The moment Minnie took on the challenge to finish Miyeon’s drink, Soyeon figured that the couple would be staying over in the dorm. Neither were in any shape to walk, much less make it to their own homes. 

When she glanced up again, Yuqi’s eyes were open. 

Yuqi blinked a couple of times and glanced about the room. Soyeon wondered if she even realised that time had passed since she fell asleep. The likelihood that she had a mini blackout was quite high. 

Her gaze flirted by Soyeon and settled on the empty table as she took in her surroundings. All of a sudden, she was standing. Bad decision, Soyeon thought. She could see the quiver in her knees when her body was forced to carry her weight. Instinctively, Soyeon placed her phone on the table and followed her. She looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk. True enough, Yuqi barely made it a few uncoordinated steps before her legs started to give in. 

The older girl saw the signs and thankfully, reached her in a few strides. Soyeon bit her lip to prevent a groan from escaping. Yuqi wasn’t exactly dead weight, but holding her body up put considerable strain on her own. 

“Song Yuqi. Are you awake?” The girl flopped against her, half unconscious, and Soyeon made a move towards the bed. 

“Are you okay? I don’t think you should be walking right now.” She couldn’t hide her relief when Yuqi blinked again, wearily. She placed the back of her free hand against her forehead, checking her temperature. She didn’t think anyone would catch a fever from drinking unless their body couldn’t physically handle alcohol. It was highly unlikely that Yuqi was one of those people but if she passed out, she might have to call an ambulance or bring her to a clinic to be safe. 

“I need...” Soyeon turned her focus back to the girl in her arms. Yuqi ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “Uhm....” 

Was Yuqi looking at her lips? 

The DJ was distracted. She couldn’t distinguish whether the feeling rising within her was annoyance or confusion, or something completely different. Yuqi really needed to stop looking at her like that. It was affecting her ability to think.

She had to do something. Guiding a disorientated Yuqi to sit on the bed, she grabbed the glass of water and shoved it towards her face.

“Water?” She hoped her voice didn’t sound as nervous as she was. She didn’t expect Yuqi’s eyes to light up the way they did, and for her to emit such happiness that Soyeon felt like she had just handed Yuqi her heart’s desire. 

“I knew you were a genius, but a mind reader too? I would marry you right now if I could.” 

What?

The younger girl was guzzling down the water so she couldn’t see Soyeon picking her jaw up from the ground. The DJ wondered if she was the one who was dreaming now. She had no idea how to respond. 

When she realised that Yuqi wasn’t choking and panicking, it quickly occurred to her that she may not have realised that she verbalised her thoughts. Instead of contributing to her possible mortification and backtracking, Soyeon made a split second decision to pretend that the past few seconds didn’t happen. She cleared her throat. 

“Feeling a bit better now?”

“Mm.” Came the satisfied response. Yuqi’s eyes were closed for a moment in absolute bliss. Soyeon admired how she was able to be so calm. 

The cup that had been full a few seconds ago was now empty. She waited for Yuqi to pay attention before she glanced towards the direction that Yuqi had been heading. The girl followed her gaze obediently, and answered her unspoken question. 

“There’s uh, spare futon blankets in the closet.” 

Oh. That made sense. 

Some part of Soyeon’s heart felt a bit warmer to know that even when Yuqi wasn’t feeling her best, she thought of her friends. 

“Okay, I’ll get them. Just stay here and direct me to them.” Yuqi looked like she wanted to protest. However, it seemed like Soyeon still had some level of authority over her because Yuqi immediately sat back down obediently when she glared at her. 

“Bottom drawer...to the left.” She followed her directions, and found what she was looking for relatively easily. She couldn’t understand the dazed look of wonderment that Yuqi had when she returned, but she didn’t want to ask. Instead, she directed the girl’s focus to the sleeping pair in front of them. 

She was definitely not strong enough to be lifting both girls on her own. She needed Yuqi’s help before she fell asleep again. Yuqi automatically stood up and came to the  
When they were done, Soyeon finally allowed herself some respite and sat down beside Yuqi on her bed. It was comfortable. 

“Wow, Miyeon unnie is a lot heavier than she looks.” She thought out loud. “It’s probably because she has a koala stuck to her side.” The imagery didn’t suit Soyeon’s idea of Minnie but it was rather amusing. 

“It’s cute...somewhat.” She tried to defend her friend, albeit weakly. She hadn’t seen Miyeon interact like this with anyone, even the other boys in her classes.

“In a parasite kind of way.” Soyeon smiled at that. She doubted the senior would be calling pest control anytime soon. 

The door clicked open and beams of light flooded the dim room from the glaring lights in the hallway. Suddenly her eyes hurt from the brightness. Soyeon became aware of how all of them had functioned normally without turning on the main lights in the room. There was a jangle for keys as a figure stepped into the room and blocked the light, to Soyeon’s relief. 

“Jjinjin-ah, I’ve just reached home... Okay, I’ll text you later.” Soyeon raised her eyebrows. The accent, the familiar nickname... 

What were the chances of Soojin’s girlfriend also being Yuqi’s roommate? 

She squinted, trying to get a better glimpse of the girl who had just entered the room. She hadn’t taken paid too much attention to her looks when she ran past her in the library. She had youngish features and mannerisms that made her seem younger than Yuqi. 

“Yuqi-ah, I’m back!” There was a clunk as she threw her bag down. Soyeon glanced Yuqi, almost praying that she would let her name slip. She made a beeline for the washroom but suddenly froze in her tracks when she walked past the kitchen. The tall girl whipped around, her black hair flying in response to the movement. 

“Song Yuqi! You had a drinking party without me?!” Her accusatory haze was rapt on Yuqi, who shrugged. 

“There weren’t that many drinks and it was definitely not a party.”

“And you didn’t even leave a little...” The other girl continued, unperturbed by Yuqi’s response. She was definitely an interesting character. She understood why Soojin described her as her direct opposite. 

“Nevermind, I’m too tired to deal with this. I’ll deal with you tomorrow.” Even without looking, Soyeon could almost feel the eye roll that Yuqi was sending her roommate. Then, that sharp gaze was on her. Soyeon straightened her back. She didn’t know if Soojin had told her girlfriend about her, but she was certain that she wouldn’t know who she was. 

“Hello Yuqi’s friend. Thank you for taking care of her even though she’s a burdensome idiot.” Slightly relieved, Soyeon felt the grin on her face before she even replied. 

“Oh surprisingly, she wasn’t that much of a problem today. We’ll see about next week though.” She peeked at Yuqi’s expression to make sure the other girl knew she was joking. 

“HEY! Both of you... I shouldn’t have allowed you two to meet.” 

“I like her. Invite her for dinner with us next time.” Her tone left no room for argument, but Yuqi pretended to defy her. Their mannerism were like a pair squabbling children on the playground. It was amusing to watch them interact. 

Yuqi and her roommate had a very unusual relationship. Then again, it seemed like her relationship with everyone was rather distinctive. The more sides of Yuqi she discovered, the more she wanted to learn about her. 

The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds until they heard the generator hum and water being released in a spray. Thinking about taking a warm shower reminded Soyeon that she was still in her dress and she should make her way to her own dorm while she still had the presence of mind to do so.

“Well, now that everything’s settled, I should probably get going so you can get some rest.” “Oh? You’re not staying over?” Yuqi actually sounded disappointed. The knowledge that her presence would be missed, made her feel just a bit happier. Maybe the night was more successful than she had thought. It was a pity Minnie and Miyeon were dead to the world and couldn’t revel in their success. Yet, she was happy that this was something she didn’t have to share with them. 

As if to make her point, she looked pointedly around the room. “Yuqi-ah, there’s nowhere for me to sleep. Besides, my dorm isn’t that far from here.” 

“Still, it’s not safe to be walking around alone so late...” She was looking down and away from her, so Soyeon barely caught the word “dress” at the tail end of her sentence. 

“Eh? What about the dress?” She was confused. She didn’t think that there was a problem with her outfit. If there was a flaw or something was out of place, no one had commented on it earlier. Unless she had accidentally spilled alcohol on it. She checked her dress to make sure. 

“Uh...” She paused to look at Yuqi. She seemed nervous and fidgety, unlike how she usually was. Soyeon waited patiently for her to collect her thoughts. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to use it to its full potential since your evening was cut short... I mean you ended up here after all.” 

“Oh... I don’t think that’s a bad thing; quite the opposite, actually.” She responded with a smile. She was relieved that it wasn't something that serious. Soyeon wasn’t sure why Yuqi appeared so unsure. She wasn’t dragged to the dorm against her will, nor was she unhappy about spending time with all of them either. In fact, her Saturday evening had been quite enjoyable. 

She was reminded of what Minnie had told her before they left for the restaurant. Perhaps that was why she was so insecure about having them over. 

“I hope you’re feeling better though. Minnie told me that you were supposed to join us for dinner, but you were having a stressful week so you couldn’t make it.” 

There was a momentary irritation that passed over Yuqi’s face and Soyeon felt guilty for repeating something that Minnie probably revealed without Yuqi’s permission. However, the cloud passed and Soyeon wondered again whether she had done anything wrong. The other girl was quick to forgive, so she didn't think asking her would be of any clarification. Trying not to make matters worse, she crossed over to the door, Yuqi following. 

It took a couple of seconds for her eyes to get used to the light in the hallway. Now that she could feel the difference, she had no idea how they managed to function in the dark for such a long amount of time. They had turned off the lights for the movie but they must have been so out of it that they forgot about turning on the lights afterwards. 

She heard a floorboard squeak and she remembered Yuqi was still there. She wasn’t drunk enough to forget her manners.

“Thank you for letting us come over tonight, and sorry about ruining your plans.” 

The younger girl shook her head. There was a half-smile on her lips that made Soyeon feel lighter. She wanted to see more of the different smiles that Yuqi had. 

“No, Minnie was right. You coming over actually made my night a lot better. So thank you, unnie.” She wouldn’t have guessed that all it would take for her to fall even further for Yuqi was a single statement. Soyeon returned her grin without restraint. 

“I’ll uhm... I’ll see you at school then?” 

“Yes. Have a good rest.” She thanked her one last time before she turned to walk down the hallway, away from the girl who was constantly making her question her emotions. “Let me know when you’re home!” She heard the younger girl call out. Smiling to herself, she answered her placatingly as she stepped towards the end of the hallway. 

Yuqi must have gotten inspired by her roommate, she thought. Thinking about the fair girl reminded her of Soojin, and about a conversation they had a while back. Soojin was the only one who knew about the restlessness she was feeling. They’d talked about it over iced americanos once. She had asked about her relationship and what went through her mind in the beginning. 

“Whatever decision you make will affect both of you. There’s no running away from the risk of rejection. Take your time; there’s no rush. But if you feel that she’s worth developing something with, then you have nothing to lose by letting her know that you’re interested.”

Soyeon stopped just a few feet away from the corner. A more steps and she would be hidden from Yuqi’s sight. She would be safe to think and process what was going through her mind. She wasn't drunk, but the alcohol had given her courage that she wouldn't usually have. She wanted to leave and forget about the entire matter, but if she left now, she knew that she would lose her nerve and miss the chance entirely. 

In a few hours, the night would become just a dream for Yuqi and a buried memory for her. Part of her thought that it wouldn't be so bad if she were to let it happen. If Yuqi meant what she said, she would tell her eventually, maybe before she graduated. If she didn't, then it wasn’t meant to be, and she would have to accept it. 

Yet, she couldn’t deny that the past few weeks felt like things between them had been slowly leading up to this point. All the afternoons they spent together, talking about aspirations, ideas and everything in between. It was personal conversation and not something that she would be able to do with just anyone. She wasn't sure about Yuqi though. 

Despite how much experience and knowledge she had gained over time, she hadn’t gotten better at interpreting her actions or emotions. After all, there was no conceivable reason for someone as amazing as Yuqi to be interested in someone like her. The freshman hadn’t been a regular on the show for more than a few months but she had already been warmly accepted by both the audience and everyone in the studio. If anything, she would only get more popular once people started to recognise her. However, despite all of those factors, Yuqi’s Freudian slip was making her reconsider the connotations that she had previously dismissed. Maybe there really was a chance that her crush had at least some feelings for her.

“Unnie?”

If Soojin was right, she had nothing to lose. Giving Yuqi a hint that she was interested wasn't exactly a confession. It still left room for her friendship to be salvaged in the event that it went badly. If it went badly, however… Well, she didn’t want to think about how awkward it was going to be. 

She couldn’t predict the future. She would just have to handle the situation, as she always did. 

After a moment of silence where she deliberated her options, she was starting to feel Yuqi‘s anxiety becoming more palpable, even with her back turned towards her. If she wanted to say something, she had better do it before she changed her mind. In a split second, she made her decision. There was no going back from it.

“Yuqi-ah, just saying, but if you’re going to propose to me, you should do it without the alcohol next time.” 

Before she knew what was happening, her legs were moving. It was just as well, because the moment the words left her lips, she wanted to run and hide in embarrassment. She had never expected that she would actually get the words out.

The next time she was able to catch her breath was when she was on the bus back towards her dormitory. She laid her head back against the seat.

She’d probably made the biggest mistake of her life. 

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a mean place to end it? The story was getting too long and this seemed like a suitable place to end off the "I Made" portion because of my focus. If you've read until here, thank you very much and I hope that you've enjoyed the story so far! 
> 
> I think just by the chapter names, you can guess what the name of the next chapter is, right? I will release a longer A/N for the last chapter to explain certain elements and concepts, but if you've paid attention to the songs and lyrics in each album, I moulded parts of the storyline to make reference to the actual song lyrics. In particular, I used lyrics and concepts from Señorita, Hann and Latata for some of Soyeon's thoughts ^^
> 
> Feel free to leave me a comment or feedback if you'd like, and I hope to update this story soon~


	3. I Trust

The sun was already up when she opened her eyes. The faint sounds of traffic and the murmurings of pedestrians coming from the window signalled her that the town was alive. She yawned. It had been a while since she had slept till this late. Her body was still half asleep. 

Sighing, she rolled onto her side and tugged her big lion plushie to her chest sleepily. She had gotten it as a gift from her parents before she moved to the dorms. It was a nice reminder she had of home, as well as a comfortable pillow to lie on when she was searching for a relaxing position. 

Luckily for her, it wasn’t a school day. It had been a long time since the last time she was late for class. Since entering college, she had made a proper effort to be on time for classes, and she wasn’t going to end her streak like this. However, she remembered that she was supposed to have woken up earlier to do some research for her upcoming project, so she couldn't stay in bed any longer.

Reaching for her phone that had been pushed to the side of her bed sometime in the middle of the night, she automatically scanned her inbox for a familiar giraffe contact name. There were some messages from Miyeon, asking if she would like to join her and Minnie for a manicure later. Minnie had also texted to ask if she was feeling alright, as well as offer the same invitation. 

However, there were no new messages from Yuqi. The last message in their thread was from the night before, when she had messaged to say that she had reached her dorm. 

Somehow, that fact unsettled her. With the couple around, she would have definitely woken up by now. Surely, if Yuqi had meant what she said, and felt similarly, she would have said something about it. 

Perhaps she had been completely off with her assessment of the other girl. Everything that Yuqi had done may not have been meant in the way that she had taken it to mean. It wouldn’t have surprised her if that was the truth of the matter. As much as they had spent quite a bit of time together as of late, Yuqi was still a mystery. Someone so genuinely affectionate and eager to understand her even though she wasn’t the easiest person to get to know, there had to be something that she was not seeing.

Then again, Yuqi didn’t have much romantic experience, so perhaps she didn’t realise the extent of the effects of her actions. She could just be treating her like a potential friend. Soyeon paled at the thought. If that was the case, she would have acted too hastily. She thought back to the night before. It was a presumption that Yuqi’s statement had been directed at her, because the freshman had been rather inebriated. For all she knew, Yuqi could have been thinking of someone else, or it could have been an alcohol induced exaggeration, like when someone said “I love you” when someone else did a favour for them. Or worse, Yuqi may not even remember what happened, much less saying it. 

Part of her was wondering if she had been the one who had been delirious due to the alcohol, and misunderstood the entire situation. She placed her hand on her forehead, but her temperature didn't seem higher than normal. Her brain was probably overworking, but the situation made her mind hazy. 

All she knew was that there was only one person who’s voice she wanted to hear at the moment. 

She swiped through her contact list before pressing on a name. The ringing lasted for few repetitions, before someone picked up. There was a bustling noise in the background, and then she heard a familiar soft voice speaking into the mic. 

“Hello?” She could hear the slight waver in the soft whisper of Soojin’s voice. Soyeon’s number wasn't an unfamiliar one, but texting had always been their normal mode of communication. The TA had also mentioned that she wasn't comfortable picking up unfamiliar numbers or phone calls in general, so Soyeon supposed she was already considered lucky. 

“Hi, Jjinjin-ah!” Soyeon called out into the phone with as much exaggeration as she could muster. She thought of the lilting tone that Yuqi’s roommate had used during the short snippets of the phone call that she had witnessed. 

There was a decisive moment of silence after she said her greeting. Soyeon imagined the blonde girl taking a second to stare suspiciously at her phone screen. And then, her voice was back.

“Soyeonie?” Her heart lifted at the affectionate nickname. They had dropped their formalities after getting closer, but it was still nice to hear her name in such a manner. “It’s you, right?”

“Yep.” She affirmed. She could almost see Soojin‘s shoulders sag in relief. “Is this a bad time?”

“I just finished dance practice, so I’ve got some free time.” Her friend replied, but she sounded distracted. 

There were squeaks from rubber soles of shoes as they slid against polished floorboards. Soyeon could hear a zipper, as well as shuffling and movement of fabric. The dancer was probably in the midst of packing up. Hence, she took it as a signal to wait. Soyeon could hear her say a few short greetings to other people from her class presumably. 

Then, there were echoes of footsteps until those were replaced by the sound of wind into the speaker. Soojin had probably gone outside for privacy, she figured. There was a metallic thud as a door hit the concrete wall. Then, there was silence. Soyeon waited for the other girl’s signal that she was ready to continue the conversation. It came in the form of a direct question. 

“So, is Shuhua with you?” The brunette chuckled as she answered in the negative. From what she knew of Soojin’s girlfriend, her voice would be heard if she was remotely nearby. Soojin was probably well aware of that though. 

So, her name was Shuhua. 

Soyeon had wanted to ask for her name the night before, but it hadn’t felt right at the time. However, it was getting weird for Soyeon to keep referring to the girl who ran into her as Yuqi’s roommate and Soojin’s girlfriend in her head. It was strange enough that her close friend was dating Yuqi’s best friend. She wouldn’t want to have to explain how each of them ended up knowing one another. It would be confusing to any outsider. 

“You must have met her though, right?” Soojin asked curiously. “When?” 

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know who I am yet.” She could hear the unspoken prompt from the other girl even though she wasn't saying anything. Soojin had a way of using silence to speak for herself, which was a real talent, if Soyeon was being honest. She proceeded to recount an abridged version of her Saturday night for her friend. 

It was as good as telling her that she was the DJ Jelly that started the whole drama. She didn’t know how close Soojin was to the entire situation, but given that her girlfriend seemed to tell her everything, Soyeon had a vague idea of how much she knew. The thought that Soojin was likely to already have most, if not all, the pieces of the puzzle, didn’t bother her. The only thing that she feared was losing the other girl as a friend. 

Despite having only gotten closer to her recently, she had felt a strong connection between them. Soojin was someone she trusted a great deal. There weren’t many people outside of her family that she could trust to that extent. Furthermore, being her cohort mate, the chances of her knowing about her identity was already high. Even if she hadn’t already known about her alias, she wasn’t someone who would misuse the information or treat her differently because of it. 

To her credit, Soojin waited until she was done before she did something unexpected. She laughed, louder and more than Soyeon had ever heard from her. The DJ raised her eyebrows. She couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad sign. 

Now that she thought about it, Yuqi and her were already interconnected on a number of levels. If she were to create titles for the people in her life based on their relationships, a fair number of them would be linked to Song Yuqi without either of them even trying. The freshman had somehow entered her life and went from someone she wished would leave her alone to someone she couldn’t get rid of even if she wanted to. 

Destiny was really playing tricks with her at this point. 

“Soojin-ah.” She prompted. “You still there?” 

“Yes... I’m here.” Soojin’s voice was airy and she was still trying to catch her breath, but she was there. There was something about the way she answered that was just so Soojin. She probably knew the literal and figurative implications of her answer. She didn’t sound upset either. 

Soyeon released the breath that she had been holding. The sheer relief that she hadn’t lost one of her friends made Soyeon feel like smiling in spite of herself. 

“So, how long have you known?” 

“Known what?” 

“About the radio show.” Soojin hummed and considered it for a few seconds. “It became obvious when you talked about your working partner, but I had a feeling when we talked in the library.”

“What? And you didn’t say anything?” Soyeon exclaimed. She would have thought that the realisation would have been during their meetups outside the library. 

“All those times...” 

“Well... I didn't think it was something that needed to be said. Least of all, by me.” The other girl’s voice was serene, like still water over tremulous undercurrents. She marvelled at how Soojin always seemed to know exactly what to say to her, and she was right. Soojin hadn’t treated her any differently despite knowing her identity. 

“But I’m glad that you decided to tell me.” 

“Me too.” Becoming friends with Soojin was clearly one of the best decisions she had made in the past few months. 

“But back to your story, if it’s our Yuqi that’s been on your mind,” It occurred to Soyeon that this was the first time they were using names, instead of ‘my friend’. 

“She wouldn’t leave something unresolved without first trying her utmost best to solve it.” Soyeon agreed with that sentiment. “Yuqi may take some time, but you can figure it out together if that’s what you want.”

“But what if that’s not something that she’s interested in?” She asked. With Soojin, she felt like her insecurities were shown more often than she would like. 

There was an audible pause. Soyeon wondered if there was something Soojin wasn't telling her about Yuqi. 

“It’s not easy to find someone who’s as dense as Yuqi, but I guess it makes sense now.” Soojin said honestly. The way she phrased her sentence made Soyeon feel like there was an implication directed towards her, but she chose not to comment on it. There were more important things to focus on. 

“In the end, her decision is hers to make, as is yours. So, the question is, Soyeonie, what do you want to do about it?”

For the second time that morning, she honestly had no idea. 

~~~

Apparently, when one didn’t know what to do, the solution was to do nothing. The past hour had been strained, to say the least. Yet, Soyeon couldn’t deny that it had been that way since that weekend. After the first two days, the nerves had set in. She had waited for a message or signal from the other girl. However, it had been a week and Yuqi hadn’t done anything to even remotely suggest that she registered what Soyeon had said. If she were being honest, she almost wished she had stayed and gotten flat out rejected by Yuqi. It would have definitely hurt and things would be awkward until they figured out a way to work together as friends again. However, it would be better than having to pretend like everything was fine. She was clearly not an actress.

On the surface, nothing had changed. DJ Jelly and Song Yuqi were still radio co-hosts who shot their opinions back and forth during the show. Idle Radio had become more popular than ever, and the calls were coming in more frequently. There were even requests for collaborations from seniors hoping to promote their final year projects. However, there was one thing that had changed. Since the weekend, Soyeon had made it a point to avoid any chance for small talk with her co-host. She limited their interactions to during the broadcast. 

During breaks, she would go and speak to Miyeon or whoever was outside, and return only when the song was about to end. She arrived at the station with just enough time for her finish her set-up, and she always left immediately after closing up. She even avoided the field, in case Yuqi wanted to look for her during breaks. Her excuse was that she had external appointments and she was preparing for another project, but it was a feeble excuse and she knew it. 

Yuqi’s frustration was starting to show. It was foolish to think that the freshman wouldn’t realise that she was being avoided. Yet, her co-host respected her distance and didn’t push her, despite having every opportunity during the show to do so. 

It was ironic. Despite all the “bad boy” types that she claimed to be attracted to, she ended up falling for someone who was the exact opposite of that. “Thanks for calling, next.” She slammed the button to end the call and saw Yuqi wince from the corner of her vision. Soyeon bit her lip. Perhaps she had done that with a little too much force. However, in this case, her actions were very much justified. Many of the callers over the past few days had been asking about their relationship, despite how often she’s shown her lack of tolerance for personal questions. When she first started, there were many callers who directed their suggestive or inappropriate comments at her. She had flat out refused many callers who took advantage of the public platform to make remarks, and that caused a stir while lead to them making comments about her sexuality. However, DJ Jelly had always put managed to an end to them before the caller even finished their sentence. 

Yuqi, on the other hand, didn’t seem to get as affected by these types of questions. She played it off as a joke, or mock-flirted with the callers as entertainment instead. It was a wonder that she was able to turn every situation around like that. She had brought up the issue to Miyeon but according to her, the numbers weren’t that much different from normal. In fact, the older girl had even teased her about being more aware of the issue because of recent events. Needless to say, Soyeon had a lot of things to disagree with that suggestion. She felt a tingle on her skin and angled her posture slightly towards the girl next to her. She didn’t have to move much. Just a slight change in her posture would cause a reaction. She sat up straighter and as expected, Yuqi shuffled her papers noisily. There was a squeak of her chair as the other girl seemed to be staring unusually hard at her blank note pad. She would have made a quip if it wasn’t so weird. 

The staunch awkwardness, or rather, the “sexual tension”, nicely described by Miyeon, that settled whenever they were in between calls was getting difficult to manage. They were sitting a few feet from one another, but her mind was itching to get out of her skin whenever Yuqi so much as looked at her. Perhaps the freshman wanted to think she was being discreet, but she really wasn’t. Yuqi couldn’t hide her emotions to save her life. It was a double edged sword, and at the moment, the blade was cutting both of them. Soyeon could feel her gaze flitting over to her every few minutes. It wasn’t hard to notice when every time she shifted in her seat, Yuqi seemed to purposefully angle her eyes in another direction. Perhaps Soyeon was paying the other girl too much attention as well. It was as if her body had become attuned to the other girl’s actions. Yet, with the amount of times that she’s caught the freshman watching her over the past few days, how could she not be?

Yuqi always looked like she had something to say, but Soyeon hadn’t waited long enough for her to say it. It had taken a couple of terse moments and one word replies, but Yuqi seemed to have gotten the message. She gave her space, or rather, as much space as she could. The only time they spoke was when their broadcast was concerned and even so, they kept discussions concise and to the point. It was so robotic and routine that anyone would know something was wrong Miyeon had dragged her out of the studio one day for a talk. The older girl wasn’t very confrontational in nature, but her eyes were ablaze this time. She wanted to shrink into a corner but she knew that being one of her closest friends, Miyeon wouldn’t let her. 

She made her point very clear and with no room for interpretation. She told Soyeon point blank to stop avoiding Yuqi because her, in Miyeon’s words, “lovesickness” was affecting everyone else. By everyone else, she meant Minnie, and by association, her. Soyeon had nodded and apologised for her immaturity, but she couldn’t exactly explain the reason for it. 

Miyeon wasn’t exactly aware of what had transpired after her first few shots of soju. The senior had called her on the next afternoon, completely oblivious, asking if she had done anything stupid. She couldn’t blame her for being confused at the sudden change of behaviour between the two of them. She wouldn’t be surprised if Miyeon blamed herself and Minnie for it either. She didn't want to hide it from her, as one of her closer friends.

She would explain it to her, after dealing with Yuqi. The atmosphere at the station had changed too, according to Jisoo. She deduced correctly that it was due to Soyeon and Yuqi, and went to speak to the former about it. The older girl hadn’t been as blunt as Miyeon with her words, but she had described it as overly “charged”. 

Soyeon had tried asking her to explain the term, and gotten a head pat for her trouble instead. She had half a mind to walk up to Yuqi and tell her that whatever she said had been a joke. It would put everyone out of their misery, except for her, but it was better than seeing Yuqi look like a sad puppy all the time. She decided against it, because as much as she enjoyed joking around, she didn’t want to lie about something like this. She would have to face up to her eventually, anyway. She was just hoping that she would have more time to build up her resistance to the upcoming rejection she was going to face.

“Hello! This question is for Yuqi.” The next call came in, disrupting her errant mind. It was embarrassing but she hadn’t realised that the other person had been speaking. The voice was peppy and bright, not the type that she wanted to hear the moment. Soyeon finally turned to her co-host, who currently resembled a lost deer that accidentally walked into traffic. 

It was obvious that Yuqi had probably been caught off guard, since she had been staring at her for the past three minutes. Not that Soyeon was any better though. They were both equally as pathetic. 

The DJ motioned to the mic expectantly and it seemed to awaken something within the younger girl. She flailed her arms in a mini panic before remembering where her mic receiver was. Soyeon had to turn away to hide her smile because Yuqi was really too cute. “Uh... okay, I’m here. How can I help you?” 

“Are you single?” Soyeon was struggling not to roll her eyes, even though no one else but her and Yuqi would see it. 

Of course. Soyeon sighed. She really should have expected this to happen. 

Since Soyeon had shown that she wasn’t going to entertain callers asking personal questions, they could just direct their questions to her more accommodating co-host instead. Yuqi was an easy target; not just for her, but for the public. Her transparent nature made her easy and amusing to tease, not that she desired anyone to make fun of her. 

“Y-yes?” Yuqi stammered. Her answer had a lilt that made it sound like she was asking a question. The DJ found it funny that she would hesitate on the topic of her own relationship status. There was no one else but herself that could confirm her relationship status. Soyeon noticed the nervous gaze directed at her, which she didn’t respond to. She was absolutely not going to jump in. Firstly, it wasn’t her question to answer. She shouldn’t and wouldn’t do anything. Secondly, it wasn’t any of her business.

She turned to her phone screen, both as a signal to Yuqi and a reminder to herself that she shouldn’t be so invested in the answer. She had recently fulfilled her quota of embarrassment for a month at least. Whatever Yuqi’s answer was, it should not affect her in the slightest.

The person on the other end of the call hummed satisfactorily, as if Yuqi had given her the answer she was hoping for. Soyeon didn’t consider herself hot headed, but she could feel her irritation level rising at the caller’s response. She didn’t like her attitude. “

You mentioned previously that you haven’t dated, so what do you look for in a potential partner?” 

“Uh.......” Yuqi was hesitating. Soyeon didn’t like this question, or the caller, at all. Jeon Soyeon would either attempt to diffuse the situation or distract the caller. DJ Jelly would let Yuqi figure it out herself. It didn’t take much deliberation for Soyeon to decide to follow her radio personality. After all, Yuqi was mostly here for her media and communications class. This was part of her training and experience. 

The older girl snuck a peek at her co-host. Yuqi was apprehensive; she was staring at her mic and biting the side of her lip, deep in thought. She was probably trying to figure out how to answer the question without being too personal, but also without lying. It was sweet to see how much effort she put into making every conversation as genuine as she could, despite not knowing the caller personally. 

If Soyeon did that, her show would probably be cancelled again. It was different for Yuqi. She had already accepted that the younger girl would always have the advantage of being able to win people over. There was just something about the freshman that made people feel comfortable. It wasn’t surprising that Yuqi’s popularity on the forum had helped to increase their ratings significantly. Miyeon had been delighted, to say the least. She was probably already planning to formally ask Yuqi to takeover part of the station once the seniors graduated. 

Something shifted in Yuqi’s eyes and she cleared her throat before she spoke. 

“Someone... warm and bright...? Maybe a little fiery, but also mellow.” For a moment, Yuqi looked like she was about to say more, but was holding herself back from doing so. She sat back in her seat with a self-satisfied smile while Soyeon felt her confusion grow.

She was definitely missing something.

When she first heard her answer, it sounded like Yuqi was trying to make her description as neutral and as safe as possible. She could understand that. However, no matter how many ways she tried to see it, that description did not sound like a person at all. There was something off about the way she spoke about it. Yet, for some reason, her co-host looked almost resolute about her description. It was a stark contrast to the way their previous conversation about love and dating had gone. Although, it made her wonder if Yuqi had met and fallen for someone in the time that had elapsed since then. 

“You sound like you’re describing a colour.” Soyeon commented idly. 

She didn't mean it to be an insult or criticism, despite how it sounded. The closest thing that came to mind when she mulled over Yuqi’s words was red, yellow and orange. They were warm and bright colours and easily moulded to be either fiery or mellow. She didn't know why she was trying to dissect something so trivial.

Yuqi’s love life didn't affect her. The freshman’s eyes flashed with surprise when she turned towards her. She sat up straight for a second, before leaning back against the seat again. Her guard was up. Soyeon couldn’t blame her for it, especially after the past few days of cold treatment. 

Hence, she had probably assumed that Soyeon wasn’t listening to her answer. She didn't think of herself as a good actress but apparently she managed to convince Yuqi of that. The DJ put her phone aside to prove her wrong. Besides, the call had just gotten more interesting. The DJ watched curiously as a series of emotions flickered across Yuqi’s face. 

There was embarrassment, naturally. Her cheeks turning a light shade of pink was a glaring indication of that. Anything was better than the gloomy looks she had been sporting when she thought Soyeon wasn’t watching her. The longer she knew Yuqi, the more Soyeon was beginning to realise that the younger girl always spoke and acted with her heart and emotions. Everything she did, she did with passion and relentless perseverance. At first, she had considered it rather annoying, especially when the overzealous attitude was used against her. 

However, perhaps it was because Yuqi’s energy reminded her of herself a few years ago, but overtime, her emotional transparency had become an endearing trait. In any case, Yuqi probably wasn’t thinking logically when she described her ideal partner. Based on her description, Soyeon wouldn’t be surprised if Yuqi didn’t even have a person in mind. She didn’t know who Yuqi would eventually end up with, but her ideal partner sounded like a very conflicted person. She just hoped whoever the lucky person was, that the two of them would be able to balance one another out. 

Soyeon thought about it. It wasn't for her to judge who Yuqi wanted to be with. They weren’t close, and she didn't know if they would ever be close again. However, Yuqi’s happiness would always be forefront for her. She didn’t have to be dating Yuqi to feel that way. 

The second look on Yuqi’s face was guilt. It clouded her eyes and darkened her gaze. She turned to the side, avoiding the third year’s direction. It was a change, since Yuqi had been trying to catch Soyeon’s eyes for the past few days. Now that she was paying attention, Yuqi didn’t seem to know what to do anymore. 

The guilt felt unnecessary to Soyeon. They’d been working together for some time, and the freshman had always worked hard and picked up the skills required of her quickly. Even when she made mistakes, she was humble and willing to learn. Hence, seeing that emotion on her face was somewhat baffling. 

As far as she knew, Yuqi had not done anything to warrant feeling guilty for. If anything, Soyeon was the one who should be feeling guilty for her actions over the past few days. Being in prolonged close proximity with her during their broadcasts had made her realise that it was impossible to sustain this. She had to talk to her about what happened, even if it went badly.

There was a shift in the undercurrent and Soyeon finally identified the last expression. Doubt. Whether it was doubt in relation to Soyeon, herself, or the situation, was unclear. Despite the expectant look Yuqi was giving her, her eyes were rife with uncertainty. 

“Well, it’s not something I think a lot about. I don’t really have a list of things to look for.” There was a little bit of defensiveness in her tone, which reminded the DJ that she was dealing with Yuqi, someone she wanted to protect, and not some random stranger on the phone. Yuqi’s hurt expression flashed in her mind again, and she felt a pang in her chest.

The steady light over the monitor reminded her that they were still on-air. She couldn't let the conversation get out of hand. So, she tried to redirect her attention with her next question.  
“Then, what do you think about?” 

“Chemistry? Being able to speak comfortably with them? How that person makes me feel, I guess.” Yuqi scooted her chair forward, even though her body was almost trapped in between the table and the chair. Soyeon nodded.

That was an answer that she expected. It made things easier for her to direct a playful comment at her. “Oh, so you already have someone in mind?” 

Yuqi hummed. “You seem unusually persistent with this topic, DJ Jelly.” The way she let the words hang in the air was evil. The younger girl was challenging her. 

Soyeon smiled, despite the butterflies taking flight in her stomach. At least Yuqi looked a bit more relaxed. She was smiling, which was a good sign. That was a signal that they were moving towards more familiar territory. Bantering with Yuqi had become almost second nature to her. “I’m just doing my duty and asking on behalf of the general public.”

From the way Yuqi’s gaze turned mischievous, she knew that the other girl had gotten the reference. It felt like they were coming full circle, right back to the first time they met. 

The brunette leaned her chin against the heel of her hand and faced her in a way that could only be described as flirtatious. “Oh really? Are you going to submit an application on their behalf as well?” Before Soyeon could respond with a witty comeback, there was a sudden exclamation that made both of them jump in their seats. 

“Oh my GOD!”

Right. The caller. She had forgotten about that. Again. 

They might have taken things too far for the general public. For people who had been co-hosting a radio show together for a while, this mistake had happened one too many times, Soyeon thought. Her reputation as a radio DJ would certainly be taking a hit after this. She shook her head.

The game had been fun while it lasted, she supposed. It seemed like they were fated to always get interrupted anyway. She was fortunate that Yuqi hadn’t left her hanging or worse, flared up on-air. She was thankful that she could trust in Yuqi to be a professional colleague, and a good friend, at the least. She could still feel her heart palpitating in her chest as she reached for the button. 

However, the freshman surprised her once more by leaping for the red button on her side of the table. By doing so, Yuqi ended up with half her body stretched over the table in front of her. Soyeon jerked her chair back slightly to give her room to manoeuvre. She may or may not have let out an inaudible squeak at the sudden proximity of their bodies.

“Thank you for calling Idle Radio, have a good day!” Yuqi yelled out into the receiver as she cut the line abruptly. She seemed to be even more enthusiastic about ending the call. 

Soyeon wanted to laugh. It seemed that their roles had really undertaken a reversal as of late. She had definitely underestimated Yuqi’s ability to be a radio host. The DJ sneaked another glance at her while the other girl awkwardly shifted back to her seat. Yuqi’s cheeks were red, and probably not just from the interruption. It seemed like she was just as embarrassed at having unintentionally said something like that on-air. 

That could only mean one thing:- Yuqi’s answers hadn’t been meant as jokingly as they appeared to be. Her brain went into a flatline for a minute as she tried to decipher what that meant, and more importantly, what to do with that information. 

She hadn’t really considered the possibility that Yuqi would flirt with her and mean it. That nagging feeling at the back of her mind was back. She had been steadily shifting it away over the past few days, but it was back in full force, demanding her attention. Perhaps, this was what Soojin had meant during their phone call. She wished that the blonde was with her at that moment, to fling some sense at her or give her advice. 

“You okay, unnie?”

Was she okay? No. She was talking about dating, with someone that she wanted to date. There was no way that she would be “okay”.

It dawned on her that this was the first time they were talking since the previous weekend. Sure, they had done the broadcasts together, but it wasn’t the same. Yuqi stopped directing questions at her and trying to talk. She had been leaving everything that their interactions consisted of, up to Soyeon to decide. In terms of frequency, intensity and topic, at least. Hence, she made another decision. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” Yuqi’s gaze flitted to the side before she met her eyes again. Now that there was no reason for them to act or banter for an audience, Yuqi easily diverted the question. 

“Neither did you, if you want to put it that way.”

Soyeon opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again. There wasn't much point in arguing. 

“Never-mind, forget I said anything.” She turned away from the other girl, effectively ending their conversation. By doing so, she missed the disappointed frown that appeared on Yuqi’s face. Instead, she kept her eyes on the playlist and cleared her throat. Pressing the button for her mic, she declared for a song break. Shaking her head, Soyeon glanced at the song list and keyed in the code to go to the next song. It was one of the older songs by Red Velvet and it was a classic.

She had to make special effort to stop her hands from shaking as she typed. She didn’t like how nervous she was feeling, and Yuqi was clearly avoiding the topic. She was in the midst of queuing the song when she heard Yuqi’s voice cutting through the space between them.

“The answer is ‘yes’, by the way.” 

Yes? 

Soyeon‘s mind frantically raced back to their conversation to search for the question that Yuqi was answering. So, Yuqi already had someone she liked. 

She hadn’t actually expected her to admit to that out loud. However, it did explain her reluctance to respond to Soyeon, and her guilt. Maybe this was Yuqi’s way of telling her that she already had someone else in her heart, and she was trying to let her down as gently as possible. Soyeon’s fear had been correct, and she had never felt so disappointed to be proven right. 

“And...” Soyeon tilted her head. The freshman was looking at her expectantly again. She didn’t know what kind of response Yuqi wanted from her. Truthfully, she hadn’t realised that Yuqi wasn’t done speaking yet. Her voice had been lowered to such a low decibel that she wasn’t even sure if she was actually hearing her accurately. “and if your answer is ‘yes’ too, then...” 

She didn’t understand how her answer would be linked to Yuqi’s. It didn’t line up with her theory. Soyeon was trying very hard not to show how affected she was. When Yuqi trailed off at the end of her sentence, she couldn’t stand the suspense anymore. 

“Then?” She blurted out. 

Yuqi was watching her with rapt attention, but her eyes softened. Soyeon smiled, silently bracing herself for the inevitable. It was embarrassing to be doing this in the studio, but in a way, it was also poetic justice. She had basically put herself in this position. Their relationship had formally started in this same radio booth. It was only fitting that if her heart was going to get broken, it would be here too. 

“Then... I’ll only need one application, from you.” 

Soyeon was at a loss for words. The end of her sentence had been just loud enough to reach her ears, but it seemed to be a part of her imagination. She blinked, trying to wrap her head around the entire situation. 

“Aish... stop kidding around.” She chided, partly disinterested.

Turning away from Yuqi’s stare, Soyeon pushed an errant strand of hair away from her face. The way Yuqi looked at her made her nervous. It felt as though she could read her like an open book, even if Yuqi’s own emotions were displayed on her sleeve. It made Soyeon feel more self-conscious. It was unfair of Yuqi to do that to someone if she just wanted to play with their feelings like that. 

“I’m not.” The certainty in the way she uttered the words surprised Soyeon into looking up. Yuqi had moved her chair closer to her without Soyeon realising it. Unlike before, there was not a hint of doubt in her eyes. She was completely serious, which, to some extent, felt a bit out of character for someone like her.

Yuqi shifted again, testing the waters, before relaxing when she realised the DJ wasn’t going to run away. Her seriousness seemed to melt into a softer and more familiar expression. Soyeon recalled seeing this look multiple times when they were sitting side by side, either at the field or at the studio when it was just the two of them. It was one of the looks that made her feel warm, calm, and most of all, accepted. It made her feel like there was a possibility of something more happening between them. Yuqi was like a wave that continuously overwhelmed her ability to think logically.

“Yellow is one of my favourite colours. Do you know why?” That was a weird question to ask her. Unless she could read her mind, Soyeon couldn’t possibly know the answer to that. 

“No?” She was aware that her answer came out more similar to a question. If she sounded just a bit annoyed, she blamed it completely on Yuqi. However, the other girl simply continued speaking as if everything was going according to plan. 

“Sometimes it’s overly bright. It can be loud, aggressive, and vibrant to a point where it hurts. Yet, it can also be warm, comfortable and nurturing. Without it, sunlight wouldn’t exist, and my world would be cold and dark.” 

Yuqi used a singular possessive pronoun instead of a general term. Soyeon surely wouldn’t have missed that. She sensed that the girl wasn’t just talking about a colour anymore. This description sounded more human than anything else she had described previously. This was probably her real answer to the caller’s question, which Soyeon was glad Yuqi hadn’t said while they were speaking on-air. There was a half-smile forming on the edge of Yuqi’s lips as the younger girl inched closer to her. It was irritating, seeing how she smug she looked. 

Soyeon had the urge to lean forward, catch her by surprise, and wipe the smirk off her face. Instead, she locked gazes with Yuqi, daring her to come closer. Her co-host held her stare without flinching, until she got close enough to pull lightly at her shirt and dart back once Soyeon looked down. The DJ glanced to her shirt in confusion. Before she could respond, Yuqi was already scooting her chair back into her own space. The half-smile on her face had bloomed into a genuine and radiant grin. 

Soyeon looked down at her yellow shirt for another long moment before the all the pieces clicked into place. 

Oh. This girl couldn’t actually be serious. 

She couldn’t say the words “I like you” but she could create an elaborate speech about how a colour made her feel and slip in a confession just like that. 

She felt like her jaw would have hit the ground any second if it wasn't attached to her face. Soyeon didn’t know whether she should be exasperated or impressed. Part of her felt like both emotions would be accurate at this point. 

Another second passed before she realised that Yuqi was still waiting for her answer. The confident mask that she had been wearing was gone now. This Yuqi reminded her of when she first saw the freshman standing in front of her desk, and when she appeared in front of her at the field. For the first time that week, Soyeon felt at ease. 

“Well then, I’d better schedule an interview as soon as possible.” Even if the power was turned off, she was certain that Yuqi’s smile was so bright that it would be visible in the dark. She was about to make another comment when the door to the studio slammed open. Both girls were startled for the second time in an hour. Miyeon had impeccable timing, as usual. 

“Did you guys really have to do this with your mics on? Seriously...” The senior was absolutely furious. Her face was red and she looked ready to kick both of them off the radio show and make them stand in a corner and reflect on their mistakes. Yuqi’s panic was clear on her face. Yet, Soyeon didn’t feel afraid. She had just gone through one of the most nerve wrecking conversations and survived. 

“You,” The senior pointed to the freshman. “have a horrible sense of timing.”

Yuqi was just new enough for Miyeon’s outburst to guilt her into apologising. Meanwhile, Soyeon simply blinked innocently at her friend, well aware of what was coming. 

“And you,” She levelled her glare at Soyeon, who didn’t flinch under her stare. “should have known better.”

She knew Miyeon. Miyeon knew her. There wasn’t much for her senior to say. Plus, the DJ knew for a fact that Miyeon wasn’t that upset. If anything, this was just Miyeon doing damage control. The real lecture would come after the official end of the show; she could already foresee it happening. It would be a miracle if Miyeon didn’t use this as an excuse to get Minnie to become a regular at the station and help her manage the phone calls. 

The older girl placed herself in between her and Yuqi and made a show of flicking off the switch that had been lighted up the entire time. 

“Our lines are overloaded. I’m ordering you both to take a 30 minutes song break or you can filter the calls yourselves.” She commanded. Soyeon wanted to answer back with a “yes sir” but she might actually get in trouble for that this time. She had already used up her luck. She wasn’t going to take her chances. 

“Oh,” Miyeon’s body was halfway out the door, but she turned around and flashed a deliberate smirk at them. Soyeon felt a sense of pride in knowing her friend well enough what she was going to do. “and congratulations, by the way.”

Soyeon graciously waited for the older girl to leave before she burst into a fit of laughter. Yuqi spun towards her, the worried frown on her face fading away the more she laughed. 

The chorus of ‘Somethin Kinda Crazy’ had just started, and there were roughly nine more songs that she was obliged to play before their segment was allowed to continue. She didn't know what exactly Miyeon was intending to accomplish with this forcefully induced break, but she wasn't complaining. Yuqi and her still had a lot to discuss regarding their circumstances. Thoughts of the future, past, and present were a shadow that clouded her mind. 

The other girl’s head come to rest against her shoulder. She felt a hand brush against her own and laced their fingers together as casually as she could manage. The worries from earlier seemed to have faded somewhat, or perhaps it had been replaced by the warmth radiating from the girl beside her. Perhaps yellow would be her favourite colour too.

She wanted to say something, but decided that it could wait. For now, she was content with having Yuqi coexist in her space and in her heart. It wouldn't be easy, knowing the both of them. However, they had more than enough time ahead of them to figure things out together, and she was sure that they would. 

This whole thing was just the beginning and she was fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I need to apologise for how long this took. I had this done a few days after the second chapter was posted, but I didn't have time to proof read or check due to my work. Secondly, I want to thank everyone who read this story. It's really been a fun writing exercise for me, and I hope to write more instalments in the future, or more Yuyeon fics in general. The "B-sides" that I planned out are more of snapshots just showing the girls' lives so I may post those in the future as well. 
> 
> Thank you once again for your support and hope you've enjoyed the second instalment to this series.


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